

wW 1 tpw^ 7 -I^Ss/ 



The Polite Pupil 



For the Use of 
Catholic Parochial and 
High Schools 



BROTHERS OF MARY 



EIGHTH EDITtON. 



DAYTON, OHIO 
CLAYTON, MO. 

1915 



\ C \\S' 



Copyright 1912 
by the 

BROTHERS OF MARY 



Woodward & Tiernan Printing Co. 

Saint LOUIS 



Preface 



With pleasure we present this little book to 
Christian educators, to be placed in the hands 
of their pupils. The compilation of the work 
has been a labor of love, growing out of ex- 
perience, and prompted by the earnest desire 
of seeing our Catholic pupils stand in the fore- 
most rank among the cultured and refined 
youth of our times. 

It is not, indeed, an exhaustive treatise on 
social forms and rules of etiquette, for the use 
of those that move in the exclusive circles of 
high society, but rather a compendium of 
seeming trifles: a multitude of little things 
regarding the look, the tone of voice, a char- 
itable act, or a proof of self-denial or humility, 
a token of satisfaction or of gratitude, a kind 
and loving word. These may appear trifles 
if considered singly; but, taken collectively, 
they are the essentials of perfection, the orna- 
ments of virtue — true politeness. 



Preface 



Though we have presented the subject of 
Good Manners in the somewhat prosaic form 
of a tedious study, still we make no attempt 
at an apology. Some contend that good man- 
ners are best imparted at home, and that, 
under a virtuous and loving mother's eye, the 
habits of true politeness are formed. Every 
experienced educator will say: "Would that, 
under existing circumstances, this were always 
the case." 

When parents entrust their children to the 
care of a teacher, they not only make the lat- 
ter a partaker of their authority, but in most 
cases they rely upon educators to supply what 
they have failed to accomplish. The school is 
thus held responsible for the good manners of 
their children, and therefore the unconscious 
influence of the teacher's example of goodness 
and grace of manner will not suffice, — there 
must be a direct and systematic course of in- 
struction, and Good Manners must be made an 
important branch of study. 

With this end in view, we have arranged the 
subject-matter in as simple a form as possible. 
The chapters may serve as supplementary 
reading from time to time. The Questions for 



Preface 



Review will enable the teacher to divide the 
chapter into lessons of suitable length for the 
various grades. The Extracts for Memoriz- 
ing will likewise prove a useful study. 

New York, N. Y. 
Feast of the Nativity of Our Blessed Lady, 
1905 



CONTENTS 



PAGE 

Preface 3 

CHAPTER I. 

Good Manners at Home 3 „ e 9 

CHAPTER II. 

Good Manners at Table 21 

CHAPTER III. 

A Code of Table Manners 36 

CHAPTER IV. 

Good Manners at School „ 41 

CHAPTER Y. 

Good Manners at Church 61 

CHAPTER VI. 

Good Manners in Public 9 , 74 

CHAPTER VII. 

Good Manners in Conversation 94 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Good Manners in Recreation „ 123 

CHAPTER IX. 

Good Manners in Business 130 



CHAPTER I 



Good Manners at Home 

1. Home. — Our home ought to be to us the 
dearest place on earth, and it is the duty of 
every member of the family to make it so. 
As children, we spend the long period of our 
growth at home, where we are fitted to take 
our place in the large world of men and 
women. We should, therefore, be more polite, 
more thoughtful, more entertaining and more 
helpful at home than anywhere else. Thus, 
when we go out into the world, we need not 
put on a show of good manners, for these will 
have become part and parcel of ourselves. 

2. Parents. — Good manners will become 
natural if they are habitually practiced in the 
family circle. The children's behavior to- 
wards their parents must ever be marked by 
love and respect. They must love their par- 
ents because, after God, they are their greatest 

9 



10 Good Manners at Home. 



benefactors. They owe respect and obedience 
to their parents who hold the place of God 
and have their authority from Him. 
V **AT child that loves its parents will seek 
every opportunity to render them some little 
service, will grieve when it cannot add to 
their happiness, will never be carried away by 
anger, will never permit a harsh or offensive 
word to cross its lips in their presence, and 
will assist them, in health and in sickness, 
with every kind attention that love will sug- 
gest. 

A polite child will always speak to its par- 
ents in a respectful tone of voice, will gladly 
accept their advice and follow it, and espe- 
cially, will never contradict them. An obe- 
dient child will never show dissatisfaction, by 
pouting or grumbling, when parents refuse a 
permission or forbid anything that would be 
to its liking. 

3. Father. — The father is the head of the 
family. It is he that labors for the support 
and education of his children, and therefore, 
the gratitude which they owe him will teach 
them to act with kindness and respect. Polite 
and grateful children will always salute their 



Good Manners at Home. 



11 



father when meeting, will never forget to say 
" Father," when addressing him, will quickly 
and cheerfully obey not only his positive com- 
mands, but his very wishes ; and in general 
will be solicitous for his comfort. 

4. Mother. — The mother shares the gov- 
ernment of the family with the father, and 
with him works for the welfare of the chil- 
dren. The same motives should therefore 
prompt children to show every mark of love 
respect and obedience to their mother. 

A polite son will act towards his mother 
with more civility and gentleness than he 
would towards any other person. He will re- 
move his hat when he is in the same room 
with her, or when meeting her in public. A 
polite child will open the door and allow her 
to pass through first, will pick up any article 
she may have dropped, give her the best side 
of the walk, and help her in or out of a car or 
carriage ; will accompany her to the store or 
the market, will carry a parcel, and will wait 
upon her anywhere. 

5. Grandparents. — Old age always com- 
mands deference and respect, but more espec- 
ially in the person of a grandparent. A polite 



12 Good Manners at Home. 



and courteous child will surround its grand- 
parents with delicate attentions ; will respect 
their tastes and ways of doing ; will remove 
nothing belonging to them without asking 
their permission ; will furnish what they ask 
for, and will listen to their advice with respect- 
ful attention. It would be very rude to laugh 
at their shortcomings, or to hurt their feelings. 

6. Children, — Rude ways of acting and 
speaking are faults anywhere, but they are 
greater faults at home. Therefore, children 
must strive to acquire a kind and pleasant 
manner of acting and speaking ; they must 
learn to be polite and courteous in all things 
and at all times. The surest means of acquir- 
ing this is to imitate the mild and gentle child 
Jesus, who himself has said: " Learn of Me, 
for I am meek and humble of heart ! " What 
a happy home that would be, in which the 
children would all be as kind and gentle, as 
obliging and forgiving, as their Divine Model 
in His humble home at Nazareth ! 

Never forget, each morning, to greet all 
the members of the family with "good morn- 
ing, " and at night, never retire before respect- 
fully bidding your parents, and every member 



Good Manners at Home. 13 



of the family older than yourself, "good 
night. " 

Never rush boisterously into a room. If, 
upon entering a room, you should find com- 
pany there, salute them with a "good day " or 
a "good morning." You need not shake 
hands with the visitors, unless they first 
offer to do so. Never whistle in the presence 
of your elders, or drum on a seat or on the 
wall, or make unnecessary noises of any kind 
when people are near. Do not shout when 
you want to speak, whether in-doors or out. 

Brothers and sisters can do much for one 
another. This relationship ought to be one 
of the most pleasant and most helpful in life. 
Living under the same roof, they must avoid 
all disputes, all bitter words and looks; they 
must ask pardon of one another, when they 
have done some harm, and willingly forgive 
each other when offended; they must avoid 
all mockery, tale-bearing, and jealousy; and 
by mutual acts of kindness and forgetfulness 
of self, they must "bear each other's burdens." 

7. Boys. — The ideal boy is the one who 
always tries to be a little gentleman. He will 
never wear his hat in the house, nor whistle 



14 Good Manners at Home. 

at the dinner table, nor leave his books or 
playthings lie scattered about. He will have 
a place for everything, and everything in its 
place. Moreover, he will not fret and show 
his displeasure when he is told to bring in the 
wood, to run an errand, or to do some work in 
the garden. He will raise his feet when walk- 
ing, and will avoid all noise when going up or 
down the stairs. He will not stand about with 
his hands in the pockets of his trousers, nor 
will he tease his sisters or younger playmates. 
Above all, he will not do a mean or sneaking 
act. It is just as dishonorable to deceive by 
indirect means as to tell a lie squarely. 

A kind and gentlemanly boy will try to find 
occasions to help his sister; he is stronger, 
and can render many a little service to oblige 
her. He will not let her go about on his 
errands, run up stairs for him, or get his hat 
and coat. He will offer to light the gas for 
his sister, put coal on the fire, place a chair, 
open a door, escort her after dark, or call for 
her and bring her home from a friend's house. 

8. Girls. — A sister will always gratefully 
acknowledge the kindness of a brother. She, 
too, will find occasion to render him a service, 



Good Manners at Home. 15 



to sew on a stray button, or to mend a rip in 
his glove. Girls are apt to be more gentle 
and refined than boys; they can do much by 
their example and kind advice to make a 
brother gentler. Girls must not be snappish 
if their brothers tease them. Boys ought not 
to tease, it is true, but nothing makes teasing 
of so little account as taking it amiably and 
pleasantly. 

A polite and gentle daughter will gladly do 
a little sewing; will help to take care of 
younger children ; and she will especially 
take great care of her own things. 

9. Servants. — It is a mark of true polite- 
ness to be courteous towards the servants. 
Always speak to them in a pleasant tone, 
saying " Please," or " Kindly do this for me," 
when asking a favor, or " Thank you," for 
any service rendered by them. 

10. General Behavior. — When you are 
awakened in the morning, get up at once and 
say: " Thanks be to God!" Thus you will 
begin the day with God, by thanking Him for 
the refreshing sleep, and for having pre- 
served you from all harm during the night. 



16 Good Manners at Home. 



Do not leave your room before you are 
properly dressed. Then take holy water, 
make the sign of the cross, begging God to 
bless you for the day that you are about to 
begin. 

Be very particular about washing yourself 
thoroughly, and learn to comb your hair 
decently. Cut or trim your finger nails, but 
never do this in the presence of others. 
Then kneel and say your accustomed morning 
prayers devoutly and with attention. 

Before you go to school, see that your 
books and pencils are all in good order. 
Brush your clothes, if necessary, shine your 
shoes, and do not forget your handkerchief. 

Upon your return from school, greet the 
members of your family politely. Then put 
your books away carefully, bearing in mind 
this rule, which will often save you much 
trouble: "Have a place for everything, and 
everything in its place." 

Have a special time for study and for your 
home-work, and perform this part of your 
daily duty faithfully. Never put off till to- 
morrow what ought to be done to-day. 



Good Manners at Home. 17 



See that your books are all neatly covered, 
and sharpen your pencils for the next day 

Never spit upon the floor, but use your hand- 
kerchief or the spittoon. Do not spit out of 
the window, nor down the stairs, where people 
might be passing. It is not merely impolite, 
but very shameful to spit at any one. 

Whenever you have to yawn or cough, place 
your hand before your mouth. Should you 
have to sneeze, use your handkerchief. Never 
put your fingers to your nose, or bite your 
finger nails. 

A polite and orderly child will go to bed 
at the proper time, without waiting to be told. 
Say your night prayers on your knees, and 
with devotion, and never fail to examine your 
conscience. Then bless yourself with holy 
water, and retire, saying: "Praised be Jesus 
Chris t!" 

Questions for Review 

1. What is a child's duty as member of the 
family? How should children act at homo? 

2. When will our good manners be natural? 
Why must we love our parents? Why do we 
owe them respect and obedience? How will 

2 



18 



Questions for Review. 



a child show love to its parents? respect? 
obedience? 

3. How will polite children act towards 
their father? 

4. How will a polite son act towards his 
mother? What will a polite child do? 

5. How will a polite and courteous child 
act towards its grandparents? 

6. What must children avoid? What must 
they strive to acquire? What is the surest 
means of doing so? What must you observe 
in the morning and at night? upon entering a 
room? What must you avoid? How must 
brothers and sisters act towards each other? 
What must they avoid? 

7. Who is the ideal boy? How will he act? 
What will he avoid? How will he act towards 
his sister? 

8. How will a sister act towards her 
brother? What can she do for him? 

9. How will polite children act towards the 
servants? 

10. How do you begin the day with God? 
What should you see to before going to school? 
What should be done upon your return from 
school? What must you observe regarding 



Extracts for Memorizing. 19 



study and home work? What is said about 
spitting? about yawning? about sneezing? 
What can you say about going to bed? about 
night prayers? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. "Home makes the man." — 8. Smiles. 

2. " The childhood shows the man, as morning 
shows the day." — Milton. 

3. "Family intimacy should never make broth- 
ers and sisters forget to be polite to each 
other." — Silvio Pellico. 

4. "Those who contract thoughtless and rudo 
habits towards the members of their own 
families will be rude and thoughtless to- 
ward all the world." — Id. 

5. "Let the family interest be true, tender, 
and affectionate, and the manners of all 
uniformly gentle and considerate, and the 
members of a family thus trained will 
carry into the world and society the habits 
of their childhood." — Id. 

6. "Kind hearts are the gardens, 

Kind thoughts are the roots, 
Kind words are the blossoms, 
Kind deeds are the f 111118." 



Extracts for Memorizing. 

" Better than gold is a peaceful home 
Where all the fireside characters come, 
The shrine of love, the heaven of life, 
Hallowed by mother, or sister, or wife. 
However humble the home may be, 
Or tried with sorrow by Heaven's decree, 
The blessings that never were bought or sold, 
And center there, are better than gold." 

"For still in mutual sufferance lies 
The secret of true living; 
Love scarce is love, that never knows 
The sweetness of forgiving.' 1 — Whittier. 



Good Manners at Table. 21 



CHAPTER II 
Good Manners at Table 

1. Grace. — " Whether you eat or drink," 
says St. Paul, "do all for the glory of God." 
(1 Cor., x, 31.) These words of the apostle 
teach us that we should sit down to our meals 
with a pure intention, that is, for the purpose 
of keeping up the strength of our body, so 
that we may be able to do our daily work 
according to God's holy will; they, moreover, 
remind us that we must never omit to say our 
prayers before and after meals. In good 
Christian families these prayers are said 
aloud; should this, however, not be the case, 
we must never begin our meal, whether at 
home or abroad, without at least a silent 
prayer. 

2. Time. — It is necessary for the health of 
the body, that we should have regular hours 
for taking our meals. Some children have 
the habit of eating between meals. This is 
very harmful: it weakens the stomach, and 



22 Good Manners at Table. 



is often the cause of much sickness. Besides, 
a good Christian child frequently avoids 
satisfying its appetite in order to strengthen 
the soul in virtue, and to become more like 
the Child Jesus, who often suffered hunger 
and thirst out of love for us. 

3. How to Eat. — We must try to acquire a 
polite and refined manner of taking our meals. 
In order to acquire such manners, we must 
begin to observe them whilst we are young. 
We must always practice them at home, 
otherwise we shall appear awkward, and 
shall often fail against good manners when 
we are in company. Young people must 
observe closely, without seeming to be 
curious, both the language and the manners 
of those who know the rules of good society. 

4. Sitting. — You should sit comfortably 
close to the table, that is, neither too near, 
nor yet so far away as to be obliged to sit on 
the edge of the chair, or to lean forward. 

When you are a guest, do not choose your 
place, but when it is pointed out to you by 
your host, accept it with a slight bow and a 
" Thank you." Young gentlemen should 
never be seated until the older members of 



Good Manners at Table. 23 

the company and the ladies have taken their 
places. Do not delay the meal by coming too 
late, nor weary the guests by obliging them 
to wait until you have finished. 

When you have finished your meal, sit 
straight, and never tilt your chair back upon 
two legs, nor place your feet on the rungs of 
the chair. It is not polite to sit sideways, nor 
to hang an arm over the back of the chair. 
Do not rise from the table before the mem- 
bers of the company do so. If it becomes 
necessary to rise before the meal is over, 
always beg to be excused. 

5. Napkin. — When seated, unfold your 
napkin and let it fall over your thigh. Do 
not tuck it under your chin, or spread it upon 
your breast or over your lap. When neces- 
sary, and generally before drinking from a 
glass, draw the napkin across the lips neatly, 
but never use it to wipe the perspiration 
from the face. 

Should you have to cough or sneeze, apply 
the napkin to your face and turn your head 
from the table. Try to avoid blowing the 
nose or clearing the throat during the meal; 



24 Good Manners at Table. 



should this become necessary, however, it is 
proper to leave the table. 

Do not, as a guest, fold your napkin, but, 
when you rise, place it loosely upon the table. 

6. Hands. — If your hands are not perfectly 
clean, be sure to wash them before sitting 
down to your meal. When the hands are not 
occupied, they should be kept above the cloth, 
or lie quietly in the lap. Never place your 
elbows on the table, and always keep them 
out of reach of others, especially when you 
are engaged in cutting your food. 

7. Serving. — If you wish to have any- 
thing, always ask for it, but never reach 
across another's plate to help yourself. If 
there be a servant at hand, apply to the 
servant; if not, ask politely of your neighbor 
to pass the dish. When a servant or waiter 
hands you a dish, help yourself directly, 
without taking the dish; however, when it is 
handed by one of the guests, take the dish 
before ' serving yourself, unless the person 
offers to assist in holding it. When asked to 
pass a dish, do not shove it along the table, 
but lift it, and offer to assist in holding it. 



Good Manners at Table. 25 



When helping yourself, take the portion 
that is nearest to you. Be careful to raise it 
with the fork or spoon, and never slide it over 
the edge of the dish. 

At your own table, be attentive to the wants 
of others, and quietly offer to supply them. 
Remember especially to wait on old people 
and children. Never force your friends to eat 
and drink; it is rude to insist, if a guest does 
not wish to partake of any particular article 
of food. It is polite, before and after a meal, 
to offer guests an opportunity to wash their 
hands. 

8. Eating. — It is proper to begin eating as 
soon as you are served. Await your turn to 
be served, without ever seeming to be in great 
haste. Dessert should not be eaten till all are 
served. Eat slowly and quietly. Proper mas- 
tication is as necessary to good digestion as it 
is to refinement of manners. Do not fill your 
mouth with food, nor attempt to speak or 
laugh until you have swallowed it. Do not 
chew the food so as to be heard. Persons who 
have acquired polite habits take only a 
small morsel at a time. They never try to 
get the last drop of soup, nor the last bit of 



26 Good Manners at Table. 

food on the plate. If, for any reason, you 
pause during the meal, do not rest the tip of 
the knife or fork on the edge of the plate; 
both should be placed wholly on the plate. 
At the end of the meal, place the knife and 
fork side by side on the plate. 

9. Drinking. — When you desire to drink 
you may, without being considered impolite, 
help yourself. If some one offers to serve you, 
raise your glass, holding it in the right hand, 
and do not fail to thank the person that offers 
the drink. If you are waited on by a servant, 
do not raise the glass from the table. Never 
take the glass of another into your hand, 
when offering to serve a drink. 

Do not urge any one to drink, nor ever 
drink more than you need. It is an ap- 
proved rule of health to drink but little dur- 
ing the meal. Do not bend your head for- 
ward nor backward when drinking, nor raise 
your glass higher than necessary. 

10. Conversation. — Cheerful conversation 
is good for digestion as well as for enjoyment: 
you must therefore avoid saying anything that 
is painful or disagreeable. Always be quiet 



Good Manners at Table. 27 



when others are speaking, and rather allow 
them a chance to lead in conversation. 

Do not turn your back to one person whilst 
speaking to another. Never keep up a con- 
versation by speaking across the person seat- 
ed next to you. 

You must never have your mouth so full 
that you cannot talk at any time. A portion 
of meat, vegetable or dessert should never be 
taken up by the fork, and held in the air 
whilst talking. Do not play with the knife 
or fork, nor make any motions with these in 
your hand. Be careful not to speak of what 
you prefer, nor of your liking for a certain 
dish. 

When asking for anything, do not whisper, 
but speak loud enough to be distinctly heard, 
and say, "Please," or, "I would thank you for," 
or, "Will you be kind enough?" etc. Accept 
anything that is handed to you with "Thank 
you!" or, if you do not wish to accept, "Not 
any, I thank you! " 

11. Knife. — The knife is held in the right 
hand. It is used only for cutting food, and 
not for carrying it to the mouth. 



28 Good Manners at Table. 



Do not use the knife for loading up the fork, 
and do not put it into the butter-dish or any 
other dish. A butter-knife is generally placed 
in the butter-dish; if not, clean your knife on 
a piece of bread before taking butter. 

Use the tip of your knife for taking salt or 
pepper. Never use your fingers, nor the 
handle of the fork or spoon. 

12. Fork.— The fork is shifted to the right 
hand when the knife is laid aside, and, like the 
latter, is held in the palm of the hand. When 
eating meat, as one morsel is to be cut at 
a time, the fork may be kept in the left hand, 
while the knife is held in the right. When 
eating vegetables, however, it is proper to 
take the fork in the right hand, holding the 
end between the thumb and the two fore- 
fingers, somewhat in the manner in which a 
dentist holds his tools. Do not stab with the 
fork, or grasp the handle as though it were a 
dagger. 

Use the fork not only for fish, vegetables and 
made dishes, but for ices and frozen puddings, 
melons and salads as well. Oysters, clams and 
lobsters are also eaten with the fork. Do not 
take more on the fork than it can easily carry 



Good Manners at Table. 29 



and only one kind of food at a time, being 
careful to swallow the one morsel before tak- 
ing another. Never mash the food between the 
prongs of the fork. If you pass your plate for 
a second helping, leave the knife and fork on 
the plate, or if not convenient, lay them by in 
such a manner as not to soil the table cloth. 

Do not eject bits of bone or other sub- 
stances by spitting them back into the plate. 
Quietly place them upon the fork or spoon, 
held to the lips, and then put them on the 
plate. Fruit-stones or fish-bones may be 
removed from the mouth by the fingers. 
Never use your own fork to take food from a 
dish. 

13. Spoon. — Articles of food that cannot 
be lifted with the fork are eaten with the 
spoon, such as: grape-fruit and fruit-salads, 
small and large fruits when served with 
cream, hot puddings and custards, jellies, 
porridge and preserves, hard and soft boiled 
eggs. 

Never allow the spoon to stand in the 
coffee, tea or bouillon cup while drinking. 
Stir the liquid once or twice, without noise, 



30 Good Manners at Table. 



sip a spoonful to try it, lay the spoon in the 
saucer, and then drink directly from the cup. 

When eating soup, use the side and not 
the end of the spoon. If the soup be too hot, 
pass the spoon through it slowly until it is 
cool enough, but never blow upon it nor break 
your bread into it. 

14. Tooth-Pick. — Never pick your teeth at 
table, except it be necessary for a moment to 
remove some obstacle. If so, place your 
hand or napkin before your mouth, so that it 
will not be noticed. It is not a mark of good 
manners to walk through the streets with a 
tooth-pick in your mouth. 

15. Accidents. — Be not disquieted at acci- 
dents or blunders. If you drop your knife or 
fork, quietly ask for another. Should any 
one break a dish or spill a glass, do not seem 
to notice it, unless you can help to repair the 
mischief in a way not to attract attention. If 
you find anything unpleasant or unsuitable in 
the food, put it quietly aside so that others 
may not notice it. If grease or jelly should 
drop on your clothes, remove it with the 
corner of your napkin, but not with your 
knife : neither scrape up a bit of butter or a 



Questions for Review. 31 



fragment of fowl that has accidentally fallen 
on the table cloth. 

16. Bad Habits. — Only the uneducated 
swallow their food hastily, strike their spoon, 
fork or glass against their teeth, suck up a 
liquid from their spoon, clash knives and 
forks against their plates, scrape the bottom 
of a cup, plate or glass to get a last morsel, 
chew with their mouths open, or smack their 
lips when chewing, pat the top of a pepper- 
pot, and drum on a knife-blade in order to 
distribute salt on meat or vegetables. 

Nervous and bashful persons fidget, they 
do not sit squarely or firmly at table, their 
chairs are slanted. They play with crumbs 
of bread, making little figures or small balls. 

Study to avoid these unbecoming and un- 
gentlemanly habits, and try to acquire a quiet 
and polite manner of taking your meals. 

Questions for Review 

1. What does St. Paul say in regard to 
eating and drinking ? With what intention 
should we sit down to our meals? What 
must we never forget ? 



32 Questions for Review. 



2. What can you say about the time for 
taking meals? What bad habit is frequently 
found among children ? Why is it harmful ? 
What will a good Christian child often deny 
itself, and why ? 

3. When must we begin to observe man- 
ners at table ? What must we do to this 
effect ? What must young people observe ? 

4. How should we sit at table? When 
does a guest take his place ? When do young 
gentlemen seat themselves ? What is said 
about delaying the meal? What must you 
avoid when you have finished your meal? 
When should you rise ? 

5. Where do you place the napkin ? How 
is it to be used ? What must you try to 
avoid ? Where is it placed on rising from 
the table ? 

6. What is to be observed regarding the 
hands and elbows ? 

7. What must you do if you wish to have 
anything? In what manner do you help 
yourself when a dish is passed by a servant ? 
by one of the guests ? How do you pass a 
dish ? What must you observe when helping 



Questions for Review. 33 



yourself ? To what must you attend at your 
own table ? 

8. When is it proper to begin eating ? 
How should we eat? What can you say 
about speaking or laughing ? about the last 
drop, etc. ? Where should the knife and fork 
be placed ? 

9. What can you say about helping your- 
self to a drink ? about being served by a 
guest or a servant? How much may you 
drink, and what must you avoid ? 

10. What is said about conversation at 
table? What must be avoided? Of what 
must you not speak? How do you ask for 
anything ? 

11. What is the knife used for? What 
must the knife not be used for ? 

12. How is the fork used ? What is it used 
for? What must you avoid when using the 
fork? How must bits of bone, etc., be re- 
moved ? 

13. What is the spoon used for ? How is 
the teaspoon used? How is the tablespoon 
used? 

14. When and how may a tooth-pick be 
used ? 

3 



34 Extracts for Memorizing. 



15. What can you say about accidents at 
table ? 

16. Mention some of the bad habits to be 
avoided ? How do bashful and nervous per- 
sons act ? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Well-mannered people consult the wish- 
es of others rather than their own. 

2. Good manners, like good words, cost 
nothing, and are worth everything. 

3. The "good condition'' of a family de- 
pends to a great degree upon the true polite- 
ness of its several members. 

4. Good manners are made up of petty sac- 
rifices. Temperance, courage, love, are made 
up of the same jewels. — Emerson. 

5. Too much is a vanity ; enough is a feast. 
— Quarles. 

6. Never add artificial heat to the body by 
wine or spice until thou findest that time hath 
decayed thy natural heat.— Sir Walter Raleigh. 

7. The stomach is a slave that must accept 
everything that is given to it, but which 
avenges wrongs as slyly as does the slave. 



Extracts for Memorizing. 35 



8. Many dishes bring many diseases. — 
Pliny. 

9. Reason should direct and appetite obey. 
— Cicero. 

10. The pleasures of the palate deal with 
us like Egyptian thieves who strangle those 
whom they embrace. — Seneca. 



36 



A Code op Table Manners. 



CHAPTER III 
A Code of Table Manners 

1. Fingers. — At dinner a roll is often placed 
in the napkin of each guest. The roll is 
taken out, and laid on the table-cloth, at the 
right side of the plate. Never cut up the 
bread or roll, nor bite off a mouthful, but break 
it in pieces as needed, spread on it a bit of 
butter, and carry it with the fingers to the 
mouth. Crackers and cake are eaten in the 
same way, though cake may sometimes be 
eaten with the fork. 

Cheese is cut in bits, placed on morsels of 
bread or biscuit, and lifted with the fingers to 
the lips. It is usually served with salad. 

Celery is eaten with the fingers. It is gen- 
erally dipped in a little salt placed on the edge 
of the plate. Radishes, olives, artichokes and 
all raw fruits, except berries and melons, are 
likewise eaten with the fingers. 



A Code op Table Manners. 37 



2. Vegetables. — Vegetables in general are 
eaten with the fork. Cucumbers are served 
with fish, and are taken on the same plate. 

Asparagus is not taken with the fingers, 
though it may be allowed to do so in private. 
In company, use the fork, and cut off the 
points of the asparagus with the end of the 
prongs. The stalk or white part is not eaten. 

Salad is eaten with the fork, though salad 
undressed may be eaten with the fingers. 
When radishes are served, put them on your 
bread and butter plate, and eat them with a 
little salt. 

When corn on the cob is served in polite so- 
ciety, you must remove the grains of the corn 
with a fork, or with your knife and fork, and 
never eat it off the cob. By holding one end 
with your napkin, you can pass your fork 
down the furrow of the grains, and they will 
easily fall off. Corn is generally served on a 
white napkin. Ordinarily you may help your- 
self to the ear with your fingers. 

3. Fruit. — Fruit must be pared or peeled 
with a knife. Peaches, apples and pears are 
quartered, peeled, cut in mouthfuls, and the 
pieces then eaten with the fingers. 



38 A Code of Table Manners. 



Plums, grapes and the like are eaten one by 
one, the pits being dropped into the half- 
closed hand and then laid on the plate. 

Oranges are quartered and peeled. The 
seeds are then pressed out, and each quarter 
cut twice forms a suitable mouthful. 

Cantaloupes are served cut in half, and may- 
be eaten with a small spoon. Salt is generally 
used with them, but sugar is allowable. 

Grape-fruit is served as a first course, and 
is eaten with a spoon. Pineapples are to be 
eaten with a fork. Strawberries are some- 
times served with the stems on, the sugar and 
cream being passed around and taken on the 
dessert plate. 

4. Finger-bowl. — When the finger-bowl is 
used, it is half filled with water and set upon a 
plate, on which a small doily lies. This plate 
is to receive the fruit, unless another plate is 
served. When the fruit is finished, each hand 
in turn is dipped into the water and dried with 
the napkin on the knee. 

5. Condiments. — Sugar is taken with the 
sugar-spoon, which you must never dip into 
your tea or coffee. Lump sugar is taken with 



A Code op Table Manners. 39 



the sugar-tongs; however, if there be no 
tongs, the fingers may be used. 

It is vulgar to thrust your knife-point into 
a large salt-dish. Use a small salt-spoon, and 
place the salt on the edge of your plate, and 
not on the table-cloth. 

6. Soup. — The soup-spoon will be on the 
knife side of your plate. If the soup cannot 
well be eaten from the side of the spoon, do 
not put more than the point of the spoon into 
your mouth. The motion of the hand guiding 
the spoon is toward and not from you. How- 
ever, in some places, the contrary custom 
prevails. In this, as in similar cases, where 
custom allows one way or another, you must 
observe the manner of those in whose com- 
pany you are, and do likewise. 

Do not ask for a second service of soup. Be 
careful not to drop your head at each spoon- 
ful you take. Try to keep an upright position 
without appearing stiff. Never tilt your plate 
to get the last drop of soup. 

7. Fish. — When eating fish, the knife and 
fork may be used, if necessary, to separate the 
flesh from the bones. The fish is then eaten 
with a fork. 



40 A Code op Table Manners. 

8. Poultry. — Chicken and game (and chop 
bones as well) are never taken up with the 
fingers. Cut the meat from the bones, and 
then eat it with the fork. 

9. Eggs. — If egg-cups are used, place the 
egg in the cup, with the large end uppermost. 
Cut off the top of the egg with a stroke of the 
knife, and eat it from the shell with a small 
egg-spoon. 

10. Nuts. — Never use your teeth to crack a 
nut, nor hammer upon it with the handle of 
the knife. Use the nut-cracker, or, if there 
be none, try to open the nut with the blade of 
the knife. 



Good Manners at School. 41 



CHAPTER IV 
Good Manners at School 

1. The School. — When we first leave home 
it is to enter school. From that day we be- 
come acquainted with a great number of com- 
panions; and, whilst we find it necessary to 
depend more upon ourselves, we must, at the 
same time, learn to consider the rights of 
others. Above all, we must understand that 
the teachers now take the place of our parents. 
As to our companions, we must observe the 
Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would 
have them do unto you." This is the founda- 
tion upon which we must build our politeness 
and good manners. 

2. The Teacher. — Good Christian children 
will always look upon their teachers as God's 
representatives. All authority comes from 
God, and thus teachers are appointed by God 
to lead our souls in the path of virtue, to in- 
struct our minds in useful knowledge, and to 



42 Good Manners at School. 



train our hearts to the love and service of 
God. This being the teachers' duty, it follows 
that we must, in the first place, be willing to 
be guided by them. We must follow their 
advice and instruction, we must obey their 
commands whether we like to or not, and we 
must submit even to their punishments, when 
we have failed in our duty. With this end in 
view, we must begin by being polite, courteous 
and respectful towards our teachers. 

3. The School -room. — On entering the 
school-room, polite pupils will close the door 
quietly, and after respectfully taking holy 
water at the font and making the sign of the 
cross, will go to the teacher and say, "Good 
morning, Brother," or, "Good morning, Sister." 
They will then carefully hang up hats and 
other articles of clothing, and place their 
books in the desk in proper order. When 
taking their seats, they will bid their desk- 
mates "Good morning," and then, without 
making any noise, will begin to review their 
lessons for the day. 

Boys must not forget to take off their hats 
before entering the school-room, and, when 
leaving, they must not put them on before 



Good Manners at School,. 43 



they are out of the door. When meeting any 
of the teachers on the stairs or in the corridors 
of the school, always salute them respectfully. 
When meeting any of the teachers on the 
stairs, stop at the nearest landing, or step 
aside to let them pass. 

4. Prayer. — What will it avail us to be 
polite toward others, if we omit our first duty 
towards God? The Holy Ghost says: "Be- 
fore prayer, prepare your hearts." We must, 
therefore, leave all study, conversation, or any 
other occupation, at the first signal for prayer, 
and reflect for a moment on the important 
action that we are about to perform. 

When w r e pray w r e speak to God, we ask His 
blessing on our work, we beg His grace to 
avoid sin. We must then take a respectful 
position, stand erect on both feet, or kneel on 
both knees, and, above all, think of what we 
are saying. To pray without attention is a 
sinful carelessness, which cannot bring upon 
us God's blessing. At the close, do not sit 
down before you have made the sign of the 
cross with care and attention. 

5. Recitation. — When called upon to recite 
a lesson, rise at once, stand straight with your 



44 Good Manners at School. 



head erect, and face the teacher. Do not lean 
against the desk, or place one knee upon the 
seat, or look about for assistance either from 
a neighbor or from a book. Fold your arms, 
or let your hands hang down in a natural po- 
sition, but never put them into your pockets. 
Speak loud enough to be heard by the entire 
class, neither too fast, nor in a slow and 
drawling manner. 

If you have not understood the question, 
ask politely: " Please repeat the question?' 1 
It is rude and vulgar to say: "What?" or 
"Hey?" If the answer required be simply 
"yes" or "no," never fail to say: "Yes, sir," 
or "No, Brother," "Yes, Sister," or "No, 
Father." 

It is very impolite to raise your hand or 
snap your finger whilst the teacher is speak- 
ing. Never laugh at the mistakes of others, 
or at their odd manner of speech, especially 
if they be new pupils. 

6. Visitors. — If the teacher should happen 
to be disturbed by a visitor, it would be ex- 
tremely unkind and ill-mannered for any one 
to take advantage of this to misbehave. Po- 
lite and diligent pupils will not stare at a 



Good Manners at School. 45 



stranger, but will show respect to the teacher 
and to the visitor, by quietly taking up a book 
and employing their time in a useful way, 
without waiting to be told. 

If the visitor be a priest, the class will rise 
in a body and salute him with the customary 
salutation. All will stand erect, without 
moving about, or trying to continue some 
work, until he gives them a sign to be seated. 
If he intends to stay for some time, to witness 
the work of the class, a polite pupil will rise 
and offer him a chair and a book. When a 
visitor is about to leave, the pupil nearest the 
door may rise and open the door, making a 
slight bow to the visitor as he or she passes 
out, When a priest leaves the room, the 
pupils all rise and salute him as before. 

7. Play -ground. — There is perhaps no 
time during the day when boys and girls 
show themselves for just what they are, as 
they do when they are amusing themselves. 
Some young people always get angry in 
their play. These make themselves very 
disagreeable to their companions. Some 
are selfish and always want to have their 
own way; no matter what others prefer, 



46 



Good Manners at School. 



everything must be just as they say. The 
boy and girl of good temper and polite man- 
ners will meet all the chances of the play 
pleasantly. They thereby show great self- 
command, which is necessary for acquiring 
any virtue, and thus they fit themselves more 
and more to take part in the great game of life. 

8. Regularity. — The school-room is the 
pupils' place of business, hence both order and 
good manners require of them to be punctual 
and regular in attendance. Pupils who come 
late, waste their time, cause disturbance, and 
interrupt all other pupils at their work. If, 
for some good reason, you cannot help being 
late, go to the teacher at once, beg to be ex- 
cused for the disturbance, and mention the 
cause of your tardiness. 

Those who are habitually tardy and irregu- 
lar will never acquire that ambition and love 
for study which is so necessary for success at 
school, and in after-life as well. Every one 
likes to see pupils who are ambitious to know 
their lessons perfectly, and to earn a good 
place in class. This kind of ambition makes 
play even of the hardest work, whilst the 
lack of it will make work even of play. 



Good Manners at School. 47 



9. Self-respect. — Without self-respect 
there can be no true politeness. Those who 
respect themselves will never stoop to what 
is mean and dishonorable. They will be 
ashamed to appear in the company of such 
companions as are lazy, rough and ill-bred, or 
of such as misbehave in public, or insult 
people in the streets. They will have 
nothing to do with pupils that are impolite, 
passionate, or immoral. 

Choose for your friends those whom you 
can respect, and always act so that you your- 
self may deserve the respect of your friends 
and companions. Boys and girls who are 
honest and polite, to whose honor and kind- 
ness you may trust, these are worthy of 
respect. 

Self-respect will show itself in the care we 
take of our books and clothes, and especially 
in regard to the tasks and written work that 
is to be examined by the teacher. Polite 
pupils will never hand in a task that is soiled 
or spotted, or a copy book that is twisted and 
bent by being carelessly strapped; much less 
will they hand the teacher a torn or soiled 
sheet of paper. 



48 Good Manners at School. 



Pupils that respect themselves will never 
cheat, nor copy an exercise from another. 

10. Courtesy. — Courtesy towards others 
shows a certain respect for their person. 
We have seen that we should respect our- 
selves: it is hardly less important to show 
respect to others. Children, even in their 
play, should be courteous and obliging to one 
another. One who is always pushing for the 
best in everything, without regard to others, 
shows ill-breeding and a want of manners. 

Courtesy makes us thoughtful in assisting 
one another, in helping the teacher, handing 
anything that is needed, cleaning the black- 
boards, picking up an article that may have 
been dropped, etc. A courteous child will 
pick up another's book or pencil, that may be 
lying about, and will return it to the owner, 
who in turn will not fail to thank for the 
kindness. 

Thoughtfulness is shown for one who is 
weaker than the rest, or who is a newcomer, 
or whom, for any reason, others may neglect. 
When newcomers enter the class, kind and 
thoughtful pupils will try to make them feel 
at home, will help them to become acquainted, 



Good Manners at School. 49 



will tell them about the regulations of the 
school, ask them to join in their games, etc., 
but "will never stare at them, or laugh at their 
defects or their ways of acting. 

11. Cleanliness. — Respect for one's self is 
shown in neatness and cleanliness, and these 
go far to win the respect of others. Children 
that are neat and clean bring honor to their 
families, to their teachers, and to their school; 
whilst those that come to school with soiled 
hands or faces, with hair in disorder and torn 
clothes, bring shame upon themselves and 
upon their families. 

Polite and orderly children will be neat in 
their clothes, will have them carefully 
brushed, their collars clean and their shoes 
polished. However poorly clad, they will be 
clean, modest and simple in their manner of 
dressing; they will not wear the hat on the 
back of the head, or on the side, nor down 
over the eyes. 

Cleanliness must likewise be observed in 
regard to our books. Those who do not keep 
their hands clean, will soon have soiled books 
and copies. These show at a glance, how 
much of true politeness and cleanliness a pupil 

4 



50 Good Manners at School. 



possesses. Always keep your books as neat 
as possible. Children that love order will 
have their books covered, will write their 
name and address on the inside cover or fly- 
leaf, and will have a card or book mark, so 
that they will never turn down the corners 
of the leaves. Careless and disorderly 
children will have soiled books, with leaves 
worn and torn out; writing and drawing and 
coloring of pictures will disfigure the pages; 
covers will be cracked and torn, from tight 
strapping and careless handling. All such 
disorders spoil the taste for the beautiful, 
produce a dislike for study, and above all, 
they tell at a glance, that the owner is care- 
less, disorderly and impolite. 

12. Order. — To be orderly in everything is 
the mark of a polite and well-trained child. 
Order and politeness, therefore, go hand in 
hand. They forbid us to throw paper, fruit, 
or anything unsightly on the floor, on the 
steps, in the hallways, or on the play-grounds, 
to spit on the floor, or to deface the furniture 
or the buildings, by scratching or cutting, or 
by chalk and pencil marks. Polite children 
will never be seen writing their names on the 



Good Manners at School. 51 



sidewalks or on the corners of buildings, etc. 
There is an old proverb which says: 

11 The names of fools are like their faces: 
They're always seen in public places." 

In your desk have a place for each book and 
copy, and have everything in its proper place. 
This will save you much time and trouble, and 
will teach you habits of order. 

Have order in your personal habits, so that 
you shall not be obliged to leave the class- 
room during school hours; it is impolite to 
disturb the class in this way, unless it cannot 
be foreseen. When leaving the room, walk 
slowly and quietly, do not stop to disturb a 
comrade, and be sure to open and close the 
door without noise. 

13. Attention. — When the teacher claims 
attention, leave everything out of your fingers 
at once. Do not play with a pencil or pen, or 
anything else, for this annoys and disturbs 
the teacher and prevents you from paying 
attention. Whenever your hands are not oc- 
cupied, leave them in repose upon the desk, 
or fold your arms. 

Never interrupt one who is speaking, nor 



52 Good Manners at School. 



reply to a question that is not addressed to 
you. Never be so rude as to allow yourself 
any other occupation, such as reading, or 
studying some other lesson, whilst the teacher 
requires your attention. It would be very 
impolite and unkind to disturb another by 
tickling, or pushing, or in any other way. 

If an explanation has not been understood, 
you may, and even should, ask the teacher to 
repeat it, by saying: " Please excuse me, but 
I did not understand the explanation," or, 
"Would you please repeat the part I did not 
understand?" Never ask to leave the room 
whilst the teacher is giving an explanation. 

14. Conversation. — -Do not use slang, or 
such meaningless expressions as: O cracky! 
Gee whiz! Golly! etc. Never talk overloud, 
nor try to "have all to say." A polite pupil 
will never take part in a heated dispute or 
quarrel. If your companions will not give in, 
show them that you have better manners and 
more sense, by being silent. 

Never make yourself the hero of your own 
story, nor speak about your own talents, nor 
what you have done and are going to do. 
When others are speaking, do not interrupt 



Good Manners at School. 53 



them in the middle of their story nor try to 
correct them by appearing to know better. 

Try to be kind and polite in your speech. 
A "Thank you" and a "Please" on proper oc- 
casions should be used even among the closest 
companions. 

15. Temper. — We must be thoughtful to 
distinguish between what is meant and what 
is accidental. We sometimes find children 
of such an ugly disposition that they show 
an angry temper in the most trifling matters. 
Such children are, as a rule, very proud, 
and are generally some of the most stupid 
pupils of the class. 

To give a blow to our neighbor (not to 
speak of a kick) is one of the greatest insults, 
and it generally arises from anger that is 
not controlled, or from a low spirit of 
revenge. A good and polite child will never 
return a blow, but will show its virtue and 
manliness by having the true courage to 
suffer the insult as Jesus our .Divine Model 
did w T hen He was so unjustly struck in the 
face. 

Never tease or make fun of another for the 
sake of amusing yourself or others. This is 



54 Good Manners at School. 

very uncharitable, and is forbidden by the law 
of God: "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as 
thyself. ' ' Besides , it may make your neighbor 
angry, and you would then be guilty of his sin. 
It is very unkind, and the sign of a bad heart, 
to laugh at the faults and defects of another. 

As to others, their rudeness ought not to 
prevent you from being polite to them ; this is, 
in fact, the best way to correct them. When 
at play, be careful not to show ill-temper if 
the game goes against you; and, in general, 
don't be glum or sullen if things do not go 
according to your liking. 

16. General Behavior. — During school 
hours, politeness requires you to be silent, 
and to avoid everything that might disturb 
others. Never talk with your schoolmates, 
nor make signs or send notes to them. 

Always keep an upright position, with 
hands above, and never below the desk. Do 
not cross your ]egs, nor stretch them out in 
the aisle. Never support your head upon 
your hand, resting the elbow on your desk or 
on that of another. 

Avoid all low, vulgar actions, such as 
grumbling, stamping or scraping the feet on 



Good Manners at School. 35 

the floor, calling out to another, or throwing 
anything across the room. 

Eating or chewing in the school-room is al 
ways considered bad form. He who eats when- 
ever he feels an inclination, besides ruining his 
health, may justly be regarded as a glutton. 

Never laugh except at the right time, and 
then be moderate. As to the time to laugh, 
let reason and common sense be your guide. 
Boisterous laughter is rude, and meaningless 
laughter is stupid. Avoid the habit of 
smiling or "grinning" at nothing. People 
who laugh at everything are generally 
capable of nothing. 

It is very unmannerly to run about in the 
class-room, or to jump through or over the 
benches; and it is besides an act of cowardice 
and of hateful hypocrisy to do anything of 
the kind in the absence of the teacher. 

17. Bad Habits. — There are bad habits 
which are contrary to good manners, and 
which every polite pupil will avoid. We 
must avoid being too sensitive, or getting 
angry at jokes that are played on us. We 
must never indulge in teasing, or in that 
kind of fun that gives pain to another. 



56 Good Manners at School. 



Never call from the outside to a pupil in 
the room, nor from a window to a comrade 
outside. Never look in at the windows of 
another class. Avoid whistling, whispering, 
loud study, shouting, noisy walking, or slam- 
ming of doors. In the dressing room, avoid 
crowding and pushing; wait for your turn 
and assist others in putting on coats and 
wraps. 

Never drop heavily on your seat, nor sit on 
the desk with your feet on the seat. Never 
sit on the table or in the teacher's chair, nor 
touch anything on the teacher's desk. 

Do not occupy more than your share of the 
desk, nor spoil the ink by dropping anything 
into the ink-well. 

It is extremely vulgar to spit on the floor; 
if you must spit, go to the spittoon, or use 
your handkerchief. 

Do not trim your nails or comb you hair in 
public. This should be attended to in 
private. 

Be sure to provide yourself with books, 
pens, paper, ruler, and whatever is necessary 
for your work in class, and never depend on 
fellow-pupils to supply you. 



Questions for Review. 57 



An honest pupil will never think of taking 
what belongs to another, or of borrowing 
anything without the knowledge or con- 
sent of the owner. 

Questions for Review 

1. What is said about companions ? about 
teachers ? What do we owe them ? Repeat 
the Golden Rule. 

2. Why are teachers appointed by God ? 
What must we do ? 

3. How do polite pupils enter the school- 
room ? What must boys not forget ? What 
is said about meeting teachers ? 

4. What does the Holy Ghost say regard- 
ing prayer? How must we act before 
prayer ? during prayer ? at the close ? 

5. What is said about recitation ? about 
speaking ? about asking and answering ? 
What is very impolite ? 

6. What can you say about visitors ? what 
if the visitor be a priest ? What is to be done 
when visitors leave ? 

7. What is said about the play-ground ? 
How are some young people ? What is said 
about good temper and polite manners ? 



58 



Questions for Keview. 



8. What can you say about regularity ? 
about pupils who come late ? about being 
excused ? about being habitually tardy and ir- 
regular ? about ambition and love for study? 

9. What is said of those who respect 
themselves ? Whom should you choose for 
your friends ? Who is worthy of respect ? 
How will self-respect show itself ? What 
will polite pupils never do ? 

10. What does courtesy show ? How 
should children be? How does courtesy 
make us thoughtful ? What will a courteous 
child do ? How is thoughtfulness shown 
towards others ? 

11. What can you say of children that are 
neat and clean ? How will polite children be 
neat in their clothes, etc. ? What is said 
about cleanliness in regard to books ? about 
the books of careless children ? 

12. What do order and politeness forbid ? 
What is said about writing names ? about 
order in the desk ? about order in your 
personal habits ? 

13. What can you say about attention ? 
the hands ? interrupting ? other occupations ? 
disturbing others ? explanations ? 



Extracts for Memorizing. 59 

14. What is said about slang ? dispute ? 
speaking about yourself ? interrupting 
others? How should you try to be in 
speech ? 

15. What can you say of an angry temper ? 
How are such children ? What is said of a 
blow or kick ? How will a good and polite 
child act ? What is said of teasing ? of 
laughing at the faults of others ? of the rude- 
ness of others ? How should we act at play ? 

16. How should we behave during school 
hours ? What can you say about positions ? 
moving to and fro ? crossing legs ? supporting 
your head? What must we avoid? What 
about eating and chewing ? about laughing ? 
about grinning ? running about ? 

17. Which bad habits must we avoid ? 
What is said about teasing ? calling to 
another ? the windows ? the dressing room ? 
the desk ? the table ? the teacher's desk 1 
spitting on the floor ? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. "If just ambition rightly rule 

The golden years you spend at school, 
You will not waste the measured power, 
Nor idly spend one precious hour. 



60 Extracts for Memorizing. 



2. Then fill each hour with what will last; 
Buy up the moments as they go ; 

The life above when this is past, 
Is the ripe fruit of life below." 

— W. C. Bryant 

3. What considerate man can enter a 
school, and not reflect that it is a seminary 
where immortal minds are training for 
eternity ? — E. Everett 

4. Gentleness is the great point to be ob- 
tained in the study of manners. — iY. P. Willis. 

5. A young person of even average 
talents, with refined manners and generous 
disposition, need never fear of making his 
mark in life. 

6. Self-respect gives dignity and indepen- 
dence to the character, but it must be har- 
monized by humility. 

7. Young people who have attained an 
agreeable manner and a courteous demeanor 
are already far ahead in the race of success, 
in whatever calling they may select for the 
employment of their powers. — A. H. Green. 

8. Where there is kindliness of heart 
there will be the desire to treat others with 
that happy cordiality which is the soul of 
good breeding. 



Good Manners at Church. 61 



CHAPTER V 
Good Manners at Church 

1. The House of God. — What great honors 
are bestowed upon kings and princes in their 
palaces, on account of their dignity and 
power ! We all agree that this is no more 
than right and just. But then how much 
greater must be the honor and respect due to 
God, who dwells in the church as in His own 
house ! The angels tremble in His presence 
and bow to the earth in adoration before the 
tabernacle where Jesus Christ Himself is 
enthroned. Here, then, is the place to think 
of the greatness and majesty of God, and of 
our own unworthiness to appear before Him. 
Let us always enter the church humbly and 
modestly, and let our behavior there be most 
polite and respectful. 

2. On the Way. — On the way to church, 
polite children will not run or be disorderly. 
They will show in their conduct, that they 
respect the house of God which they are 



62 Good Manners at Church, 



about to enter. They will avoid all noise and 
loud talk, and will be silent when coming near 
the door of the church. It would be very 
impolite and disrespectful to play games, to 
run and shout in front of the church. 

Never stand in groups outside of the church, 
especially after the divine service has begun. 
It also shows a want of good manners to stand 
about the church-door when people are com- 
ing out. 

When the pupils go to church or return in 
a body, good manners require of you to be in 
your proper place in the ranks, and never to 
disturb the order by talking or playing, or by 
pushing others about. 

If politeness requires us to be punctual at 
table and at school, with how much more 
reason must we be punctual in regard to our 
duties towards God! If we are in the habit 
of coming late to church, we not only disturb 
others in their devotion, but we also show 
that we care very little for the service of God 
and the practices of holy religion. 

3. Entering the Church. — Gentlemen and 
boys remove their hats before entering the 
door of the church. In rainy weather it is 



Good Manners at Churcf. 63 



proper for those who wear rain-coats to re- 
move these before entering. It would certainly 
be a sign of ill-breeding and carelessness to 
enter the church with muddy shoes, or with 
soiled and dusty clothes. "We must likewise 
be careful, in the winter time, to shake off 
the snow from our shoes and clothing before 
entering the door. 

We should enter the church quietly and re- 
spectfully, never losing sight of the thought 
that we are in the presence of God. We 
should then take holy water from the font 
with the tip of the middle finger, and make 
the sign of the cross with devotion, saying: 
"In the name of the Father who created me, 
and of the Son who redeemed me, and of the 
Holy Ghost who sanctified me. Amen. " 

Our first look should be directed to the 
altar, to greet our dear Savior who is present 
there. Then we should walk slowly and 
quietly to our pew, bend the right knee to the 
floor, saying at the same time: "My Jesus, I 
adore thee as my Lord." We then enter the 
pew without making any noise with our 
books, pencil-cases or the like, kneel and say 
a prayer before taking our seats. 



64 



Good Manners at Church. 



Never be so selfish as to keep the first place 
in a pew, obliging others to pass by you in 
order to get to a place. It sometimes hap- 
pens that a stranger takes a place that is 
reserved for the class. In such a case, a 
polite pupil will go to the person and say: 
"Would you kindly oblige us by taking an- 
other seat? This place is reserved for the 
class." 

If on entering the church, you pass one of 
the side altars, it is proper to bow your head, 
as a mark of respect. If you pass before the 
tabernacle, bend the right knee to the ground, 
and then go into your pew without making 
another genuflection. When the Blessed 
Sacrament is exposed, always kneel on both 
knees and bow your head; this is to be ob- 
served if the Elevation or Communion of the 
mass is taking place when you enter. When 
making a genuflection, do not take hold of a 
pew, nor place your hand upon your left knee, 
but keep your body erect. 

4. In Church. — Do not salute acquaint- 
ances, nor speak with them in church. Before 
God's eternal majesty it is suitable for us only 
to be silent and to pray; nor is it right for us 



Good Manners at Church. 65 



to disturb others in their prayers. As soon 
as you arrive at your place, kneel and make 
an act of faith in the real presence of God, 
and let this be followed by acts of adoration, 
love and thanksgiving to Jesus in the Blessed 
Sacrament. If the service has not yet begun, 
you may then sit and continue your prayers, 
such as the Rosary for the Poor Souls, or 
some devotion or pious reading from your 
prayer book. 

"Whether you sit, stand or kneel, let your 
position always be respectful and edifying. 
Avoid spreading your knees, or kneeling on 
one knee, or crossing the feet. Do not lie 
back against the seat nor prop up your head 
or chin, by resting your elbows upon the 
bench. When standing, have both feet rest- 
ing on the floor, and do not rest you""" arms or 
your body upon the bench. 

Do not forget that you are in the holy pres- 
ence of God. Talking and laughing, looking 
about curiously, spitting on the floor, eating or 
chewing, reading a paper or a book, and the 
like, would be inexcusable and sinful miscon- 
duct, and, as such, subject-matter for Confes- 
sion, as the Catechism teaches. Never look at 



5 



66 Good Manners at Church. 

your watch, nor yawn, nor sleep, and, in gen- 
eral, avoid all that might be a sign of weari- 
ness. Do nothing that leads to distraction, 
and shows a cold heart, or want of piety. 

5. At Mass. — When the priest enters the 
sanctuary the faithful rise, to show their 
respect for God's representative, and for the 
great mystery that is about to take place on 
the altar. They kneel at the beginning of the 
mass, and from the Elevation until after 
Communion, and at the blessing of the priest. 
They stand at the two gospels, sit at the 
sermon, and whenever the priest seats him- 
self. 

6. The Sermon. — Listen attentively to the 
gospel and the sermon, and avoid all unneces- 
sary disturbance, as coughing, blowing the 
nose, talking or laughing, looking about or 
moving restlessly to and fro. If you should 
happen to enter the church during the 
sermon, go quietly to the nearest seat, and 
remain there until the end of the sermon. It 
would be very impolite and insulting to the 
priest if you were to rise and leave the 
church at the beginning of the sermon. 



Good Manners at Church. 67 



7. The Elevation. — The Elevation is the 

most solemn nionientof the Mass. Raiseyour 
eyes and look with faith and adoration upon 
the Sacred Species, when they are elevated 
by the hands of the priest, and say : "My Lord 
and my God!" During this time, and im- 
mediately after, avoid every noise that might 
disturb the silence of the holy place. If you 
enter the church during the Elevation (or 
the Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament), 
kneel at once, on both knees, make your 
adoration, and wait until the sacred function 
is ended, before going to your place 

8. Communion. — If you intend to receive 
Holy Communion, lay aside your prayer-book 
and rosary; then, folding your hands on your 
breast, with fingers pointing upward, walk 
slowly with eyes cast down, to the holy table. 
Do not hurry to get ahead of others, nor 
force ycur way between two persons who are 
kneeling close. If there are only a few 
communicants, go to the right-hand side of 
the communion rail. Return to your place in 
the same modest and respectful manner, and 
spend some time in meditation and prayer, 
without looking up or observing others. 
The thanksgiving after Holy Communion 
ought to last at least a quarter of an hour. 



68 Good Manners at Church. 



9. Prayer. — If prayers are said in com- 
mon, it is proper for all to join in, without 
dragging or hurrying the words, and to take a 
pitch of voice that is neither too high nor too 
low. If all sing, join in; if not, then leave 
the singing to the choir. Single voices are 
disagreeable and disturb the faithful in their 
prayers. 

10. Confession. — If you are about to go to 
Confession, prepare yourself carefully, as 
though you were to confess your sins to God 
Himself, who knows the state of your soul. 
Frequently repeat the act of contrition. 
Then await your turn at the confessional, 
without pushing or trying to get ahead of 
others. It would be very impolite, and would 
show very little earnestness, if you were to 
laugh or make remarks to anyone. In the 
confessional, address the priest and answer 
his questions in polite and respectful lan- 
guage. After your confession return to your 
place modestly and quietly, make your 
thanksgiving and say your penance with 
attention and piety. 

11. Christian Doctrine. — In many places 
it is the custom to assemble the boys and 



Good Manners at Church. 



69 



girls in the church for the Sunday afternoon 
instruction in Christian Doctrine. In such 
cases, children often forget that they are in 
the house of God. Polite and pious children, 
however, will enter the church in the same 
respectful manner as they would at any other 
time. They will be present before the in- 
struction begins, and will kneel and make 
their adoration devoutly before being seated. 
They will pass the time before the instruction 
in saying some prayers, and will not play or 
look about, or talk with their neighbors. 

During the instruction they will listen 
attentively to the word of God, and, if called 
upon to answer a question, they will speak 
loud enough to be understood by all. Polite- 
ness, as well as respect for the priest of God f 
require this. 

If, for a weighty reason, you are not able 
to attend at one of the instructions, make use 
of the first opportunity to excuse yourself, 
and respectfully state the reason of your 
absence to the priest in charge. 

12. The Choir. — The choir forms a part of 
the house of God, and we are in His holy pres- 
ence there as well as in any other part of the 



70 Good Manners at Church. 



church. Those who are privileged to sing 
the praises of God in the choir, perform the 
functions of the angels who sing His praises 
in heaven. It would be very impolite and 
disrespectful to hurry up the stairs, or to 
rush noisily into choir to secure a good place, 
to stand in groups, to talk, or to wrangle and 
quarrel about the distribution of books and 
papers. 

13. General Remarks. — Let your behavior 
in church be perfectly polite and respectful at 
all times. Whether you sit, or stand, or kneel, 
let your position always show that you re- 
spect the holy presence of God. Do not lean 
against a wall or a pillar, or a side of a pew. 
Avoid leaning on your elbow, and never have 
your hands in your pockets or on your back. 
Do not cross your legs when seated, and never 
look about to observe others. Avoid talking, 
laughing, or making signs to others. It would 
be very rude to walk heavily, to spit upon the 
floor, or to make any useless noise by pushing 
the kneeling-bench, and the like. All these 
things dishonor the holy place, disturb and 
scandalize the faithful, and lower the off end- 
ing person in the eyes of all. 



Questions for Review. 



71 



Questions for Review 

1. How do the angels respect the house of 
God? What should be our thoughts and our 
behavior in church? 

2. How will polite children act on the way 
to church? What will they avoid near the 
church? in front of the church? What is said 
about standing outside of the church? What 
do good manners require when pupils go to 
church or return in a body? Why should we 
be punctual? What is said about coming 
late? 

3. What do you observe upon entering the 
church regarding hats? rain-coats? shoes? 
clothing? How should we enter the church? 
take holy water? How should we walk? bend 
the knee? enter the pew? In what way should 
we not be selfish? How should we address a 
stranger in church? When should we bow the 
head? bend the knee? kneel on both knees? 
How should we make a genuflection? 

4. Should we salute acquaintances in 
church? What should you do on arriving at 
your seat? What should you do before the 
service has begun? What should be your 
position? What should you avoid? How 



72 Questions for Review. 

should you stand? What would be sinful 
misconduct? 

5. When do the faithful rise? when kneel? 
When do they stand? when sit? 

6. What must you avoid during the ser- 
mon? What is said about entering during 
the sermon? about leaving? 

7. What should be observed during the 
Elevation? What must you avoid? What 
must you do if you enter the church during 
this time? 

8. How do you go to the holy table? How 
should you act there? How should you re- 
turn? 

9. What is proper when prayers are said 
in common? What is said about singing? 

10. What is said about Confession? about 
awaiting your turn? about addressing the 
priest? about thanksgiving? 

11. What can you say about Christian Doc- 
trine? about entering the church? about the 
time before the instruction? How must you 
act during the instruction? when called upon 
to answer? when not able to attend? 

12. What is said about the choir? What 
must be avoided? 



Extracts for Memorizing. 



73 



13. What must you observe in church re- 
garding behavior? position? What must you 
Ejvoid? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Oh! see upon the altar placed 

The victim of the greatest love ! 
Ltet all the earth below adore, 
And join the choirs of heaven above. 

2* How little, oft, am I inclined 

To come and kneel where Jesus lives! 
How feebly I desire to find 
The blessing He so freely gives! 

3. "The angels tremble with amazement 
and fear when they approach the Majesty of 
Heaven hidden under the appearance of 
bread." — St. John Chrysostom. 

4- "I have loved, O Lord, the beauty of 
Thy house and the place where Thy glory 
dwelled"— Ps. 25: 8. 



74 Good Manners in Public 



CHAPTER VI 

Good Manners in Public 

1. General Appearance. — As a good tree 
is known by its fruit, and the fruit is judged 
by its appearance, so may we say, in truth, 
that people are known and judged by the 
manner in which they appear in public. We 
usually judge a man to be rich or poor, 
according to the clothes that he wears. We 
suppose one person to be healthy and robust, 
another to be sickly and weak, judging by 
their looks, their walk and general bearing. 
Again, when we meet a stranger, we naturally 
look at his face, for we feel instinctively that 
the face is the expression of the soul, and 
that the leading habits and traits of character 
can be readily observed in the features. We 
listen to a person's conversation for a few 
minutes and at once judge of the nature and 
extent of his education. All these are but 
exterior marks, yet we see that they give us a 
faithful picture of the man such as he is. 



Good Manners in Public. 75 



2. Necessity. — From the above remarks it 
is plain that good manners are necessary 
everywhere, and at all times. We meet so 
many persons in public who observe our 
manners, and pass their judgment not merely 
upon ourselves, but also upon our home, our 
school, our friends and associates. If our 
behavior is polite, kind and gentle, people 
will have a good opinion of us, and of our 
parents and teachers as well, to whom they 
will justly ascribe the honor of having taught 
us good manners. On the contrary, if we are 
rude in our ways, loud and boisterous in the 
streets, or careless and slovenly in our 
clothing, vulgar in our language, and the 
like, surely no one will feel any respect for 
us, and every observer will say, in his own 
mind if not to others, that our education has 
been neglected, that our friends and com- 
panions are certainly not any better than 
ourselves, and therefore not at all respect- 
able. 

3. The Countenance. — We read in the 
Holy Scriptures that "a man of good sense is 
known by his countenance.'' "The face," 
says an ancient writer, "is the mirror of the 



76 Good Manners in Public. 



soul, the interpreter of modesty, or a witness 
to the corruption of the heart." In order to 
be agreeable, there ought to be nothing harsh 
or repulsive in the face, nothing savage or 
fierce. Cleanliness, especially of the face, 
ought to be a subject of special attention on 
the part of children. 

Modesty is the finest ornament of the coun- 
tenance. It is one of the most distinctive 
marks of a servant of God. When the heart 
is pure and elevated, the least unbecoming 
act or word provokes a blush, which is the 
sign of that delicacy of feeling which the 
vicious and hardened child is incapable of 
experiencing. When the countenance is 
almost constantly changing from an expres- 
sion of pleasure to one of bad temper, it shows 
plainly that such a person allows himself to 
be led away by passion, that he has little 
virtue, and that he is indifferent to his own 
happiness or to that of his friends. 

Politeness requires that young people shall 
learn to express the better emotions in their 
faces, and above all ? that they shall not frown, 
or grin, or simper, and thus give the impres- 
sion to strangers that they are habitually 



Good Manners in Public. 



77 



cross or silly. Be gay with your friends, in 
order to put them fully at their ease. Be 
pleasant, yet reserved, with newly made 
friends, with superiors, or with those whose 
character is unknown to you. 

Avoid wrinkling the forehead; it indicates 
sadness, or else a soul that despises those 
whom it regards as inferior. 

4. The Voice. — Young persons are fre- 
quently heard to speak and to laugh aloud in 
public, so as to attract the attention of every 
one. This is the sign of a mind quite vacant, 
and of a very defective education. W e should 
speak in such a manner as to be understood 
by those only with whom we are conversing- 
Loud talk indicates pride and insolence, a 
gentle and moderate tone is the mark of 
a polite and manly spirit. Never salute a 
friend or proclaim his name in a loud voice , 
this is the height of rudeness. When 
speaking to an elderly person, or to any one 
superior to yourself in rank or age, lower 
your voice to a degree of kindness and respect 
that is unmistakable. 

5. Dress. — There is a class of men and 
women who dress on purpose to attract atten- 



78 Good Manners in Public. 



tion, who walk the streets to be seen; but 
these are not members of good society. 
People of good sense and manners wear 
plain, modest and simple clothing. A showy, 
gaudy dress indicates a vain and vulgar 
mind. 

Do not appear in public with shoes unpol- 
- ished, but do not have the polishing done on 
the public highways. Never wear trinkets, 
shirt-pins, finger-rings, or anything of the 
kind simply for ornament. One may wear 
shirt-studs, a scarf-pin, a watch-chain, and 
such things as are useful; but the plainer 
they are, the better. 

6. Walking. — Young people often drag 
their feet in a careless, slovenly manner. 
Others, when walking, sway the body from 
side to side, or forward and backward, 
imitating in a way the awkward movement of 
the camel. Again, many children set their 
feet in a parallel position, or even turn in the 
toes, whilst others throw their whole weight 
upon their heels. These are all defects that 
must be corrected in youth, and replaced by 
correct habits, that will insure a pleasant and 
elegant manner of walking. 



Good Manners in Public. 79 



When walking, do not stoop, but hold the 
body erect, with the chest expanded. Let 
the movement of the arms be moderate, and 
do not balance them in such a way that one 
might think you were afraid of falling. As a 
rule, set the feet at an angle somewhat in the 
form of the letter "v," both when standing 
and walking. Do not carry your hands in 
your pockets, or thrust your thumbs into the 
armholes of your waistcoat. 

7. Sidewalk. — When walking in company 
with others, give the middle place to the 
most distinguished person. If with a single 
companion, give him the right-hand side; 
however, in case you turn back, do not 
change your position. On the sidewalk, give 
the person you wish to honor the inside of 
the walk. If, on turning a corner, you wish to 
change your position, be sure to pass behind 
and not in front of your companion. 

When mounting a stairway, a gentleman 
always precedes a lady; but in descending, 
the gentleman steps back to let the lady pass 
down first. 

When passing others, always keep to the 
right; you will thus avoid confusion and 



80 Good Manners in Public. 



possible collisions. Never brush against or 
elbow people that are passing by. If, by 
accident, you stumble against others, or 
inconvenience them in any way, do not fail to 
apologize. 

When walking along, never turn your head 
to look behind you, but rather stop and turn 
about. It is very rude to turn and stare at a 
person passing by. School-children are often 
too thoughtless and selfish to give others a 
share of the walk. We often see three or four 
girls walking along arm in arm, taking up 
the entire sidewalk, so that others must step 
off the walk to let them pass. Politeness 
requires that the younger give the older the 
greater part of the walk, or all of it, if need be. 

It is very rude and unmannerly to spit upon 
the sidewalk; the proper way is to use your 
handkerchief, or go to the curbstone. 

Never stand in groups so as to obstruct the 
entrance to a church, or any other place of 
public assembly. To stand before hotels and 
other places, to stare at passers-by, is an idle 
and insolent habit. 

8. Meeting. — Never stop acquaintances, 
and stand with them in* the middle of the 



Good Manners in Public. 



81 



sidewalk; either walk along with them, or 
stand to one side. Do not stop a lady on the 
street in order to speak to her, but turn and 
walk by her side. Raise your hat when 
leaving her, at the conclusion of the conver- 
sation. Do not remove your glove to shake 
hands, nor apologize; it is proper to offer the 
hand gloved. 

9. Salutation. — When meeting friends and 
acquaintances on the street, politeness re- 
quires of us to notice and salute them. A 
gentleman raises his hat to another, but 
takes it off when meeting a lady that he 
knows. When walking in the street with a 
lady, he touches his hat and bows to whom- 
ever she salutes in passing. Thus also, a 
polite boy accompanying his parents or 
sisters, should lift his cap when they answer 
a bow or meet a friend. He will likewise 
take off his hat when meeting a priest, a 
teacher, or any one deserving of special 
courtesy. 

Lifting the hat is a sign of respect. It 
means "I wish to honor you, and I am glad to 
do so/' A gentleman always lifts his hat 
when offering a service to a strange lady. He 

6 



82 Good Manners in Publics 



may pick up an article that she may have 
dropped, or open her umbrella as she descends 
from a car, etc. He lifts his hat before the 
service or during the courtesy. She bows, but 
does not speak. "Thank you!" is not too 
much of an acknowledgment, but it has 
ceased to be etiquette in such a case. A bow 
and a smile may convey more gratitude than 
speech. 

A gentleman opens a door for a strange 
lady, holds it open with one hand and lifts his 
hat with the other, while she passes in advance 
of him. He always offers her the precedence, 
but he does it silently, and without resting 
his gaze upon her. He also raises his hat 
when he begs a lady's pardon, whether he is 
known to her or not. He lifts his hat to a 
lady whom he passes in a hall or corridor, 
unless the place be a public passage, but he 
does not rest his glance upon her. This is 
an expression of respect and courtesy to the 
sex. 

In passing a group of mourners at a door- 
way, where their dead is being carried forth, 
or a funeral procession in a quiet street, a 
gentleman will uncover his head. This is a 



Good Manners in Public. 83 



beautiful French custom, and it has now 
become a part of our street etiquette. 

When saluting a person, it is in good form 
to add the name to the salutation, for 
instance: "Good morning, Mr. Smith!" or, 
"How do you do, Uncle John! " 

10. Introductions. — When walking with 
another, do not introduce your companion to 
everyone you meet. It is rarely called for, 
and serves no purpose. Before introducing 
one to another, be sure that it be mutually 
desired. Always present the one who is 
inferior in age or rank to the one who is 
superior. Be careful not ' to speak so loud 
that people passing near you can hear the 
names of those present, or the subject of your 
conversation. Observe the same in stores 
and all other places of public resort. In 
making an introduction, a gentleman is pre- 
sented to a lady with some such informal 
speech as this: "Mrs. A., allow me to pre- 
sent Mr. B." 

11. Shaking Hands. — Never offer your 
hand to a lady or to a superior. If they 
make the offer, bow, and offer your hand in 
return. Do not present your hand coldly, or 



84 Good Manners in Public. 



extend one or two fingers; a hearty shake of 
the hand is the common token of peace, 
familiarity and good -will. 

12. Kindness. — Without kindness of heart 
we shall never acquire politeness in our 
manner of acting. This virtue prompts us to 
render a service whenever we can. 

If strangers ask for any information that 
you are able to give, answer them politely, 
giving the directions with clearness; if 
necessary, be ready to go out of your way to 
point out a street or a place they are looking 
for. If you can not give them the desired 
information, tell them so in polite terms, such 
as these: "I am sorry that I can not oblige 
you, but I do not know the place," etc. If 
you see a person confused, not knowing the 
way, it is polite to offer your assistance, so as 
to help him out of his difficulty, even at a 
cost of time and trouble. 

Should you have occasion to ask any infor- 
mation of a stranger, always be very polite in 
your language, and never fail to thank for the 
favor, even should he not be able to inform 
you. It is proper, and in most cases safer, to 
ask such information either from a conductor 



Good Manners in Public. 85 



on a car, or from a police officer on the 
street, rather than from any other person. 
Thus you will not run the risk of being mis- 
directed by wicked persons who may wish to 
lead you astray. 

When you are walking along with an older 
person, who may be carrying parcels or pack- 
ages, offer to carry at least some of them. 
It is both kind and polite for boys and girls 
to pick up things that might have been 
dropped by elderly or infirm persons, or to 
render them any assistance in crossing the 
street, and the like. 

13. Street Cars. — Polite children will 
always respect the rights and comforts of 
others. Thus they will not crowd on car 
platforms, thereby preventing passengers 
from entering or leaving the car. If you 
enter an open car, do not hold the end seat, 
obliging others to climb over you. It is 
proper to move down from the end to make 
room for others, even though you do not 
intend to ride for any great distance. 

It is very rude and selfish to rush for a seat 
in a car (or at a public entertainment), disre- 
garding every one else, pushing rudely by 



86 Good Manners in Public. 



women and children, hustling men who are 
older and less active than you are. Never 
occupy more space in a car or omnibus than 
you require. 

Do not enter a crowded car, unless you can 
not help it. It often happens that the next 
car may afford plenty of room. One who 
enters a crowded car may be considered as an 
intruder, and as such has no rights that any 
one is bound to respect. 

If a lady, carrying a child or a bundle of 
parcels, or an elderly or infirm person, enter a 
crowded car, a polite boy will rise and offer 
his seat, at the same time raising his hat as a 
mark of respect. It shows a complete want 
of manners w T hen girls, who may be obliged 
to stand in a car, make any remarks intended 
to offend gentlemen who fail to offer them a 
seat. 

14. Entertainments. — Do not bustle into 
a hall of public entertainment after the per- 
formance has begun. Try to arrive early, 
and be seated in time. It shows a blame- 
worthy disregard for others, to have a private 
talk and laugh while the performance is going 
on; it annoys others who wish to listen, and 



Good Manners in Public. 87 



is a mark of ill-breeding. If you do not wish 
to remain to the end, wait until there be a 
pause in the program. 

15. Companions. — Our choice of compan- 
ions has a great influence upon our happiness, 
both temporal and eternal. The old proverb 
is but too true: "Tell me with whom you 
associate, and I will tell you what you are." 
If we frequently go with the same compan- 
ions, we soon adopt their ways of thinking, 
and without knowing it, we imitate their man- 
ner of speaking as well as their general 
behavior. If our companions are good, gentle 
and polite, they will aid us to acquire good 
manners and to practice virtue. If they are 
bad, we will soon follow them, and even be- 
come their leader on the road to ruin and 
disgrace. 

16. General Behavior. — When walking in 
the street, do not gaze about, as though you 
wished to see everything and everybody; look 
ahead of you so as to notice the friends that 
you might meet, or to avoid any danger to 
your person. Never stand and stare at the 
windows of private houses, and be careful not 
to keep your gaze fixed upon strangers, either 



88 



Questions for Review. 



in passing or in a public conveyance. Do not 
chew or eat on the street, for this is a mark of 
bad manners. Besides being impolite, it may 
be very dangerous to throw banana peel on 
the street. Never point at persons seen on 
the street, or laugh at the manner of their 
dress. Never carry your umbrella horizon- 
tally in a crowd, or hold it so that it may 
inconvenience others. 

Never quarrel with your companions, or 
give a blow or a kick to your neighbor; this 
is the greatest insult that you can inflict, and 
it generally arises from unbridled anger, or 
from a low and ignoble revenge. 

Questions for Review 

1. By what are people known and judged? 
How do we usually judge a man by the clothes? 
the looks? the face? the conversation? 

2. Why are good manners so necessary in 
public? What will be the result of polite 
behavior? On the contrary, what will cause 
us to lose the respect of every one? What 
will every observer say? 

3. How is a man of good sense known? 
What does an ancient writer say of the face? 



Questions for Review. 



89 



What ought to be in the face to make it 
agreeable? What is said of cleanliness? of 
modesty? What provokes a blush? of what 
is it the sign ? What does a constant change 
of countenance indicate? 

What should young people learn to express 
in their faces? What should they avoid? 
With whom should we be gay? with whom 
pleasant, yet reserved? Why should we avoid 
wrinkling the forehead? 

4. Of what is loud speaking and laughing 
the sign? In what manner should we speak? 
What is said of loud talk? of a moderate tone? 
What must we avoid when saluting a friend? 
What should you do when speaking to an 
elderly person or to a superior? # 

5. What do people of good sense and man- 
ners wear? What does showy, gaudy dress 
indicate? What is said about shoes? What 
may we wear? What may we not wear? 

6. What is said of dragging the feet? of 
waving the body ? of awkward position of the 
feet? of the toes? of the heels? What is said 
of these defects? When walking, what must 
you observe regarding the body? the arms? 
the hands? the feet? 



90 Questions for Review. 



7. What must you observe when walking 
with others? with a single companion? What 
is said about the inside of the walk? about 
changing position? about mounting and de- 
scending a stairway? about passing others? 
When walking along, what must you avoid ? 
What should school-children avoid in the 
street? What does politeness require? What 
can you say about spitting? about standing 
in groups? 

8. What must you never do when meeting 
acquaintances? when meeting a lady? What 
should you do when leaving her? Do you 
remove your glove when shaking hands? 

9. What does politeness require of us when 
we meet ^friends? When does a gentleman 
raise his hat? When does he take it off? 
When does he touch his hat and bow? When 
should a polite boy lift his cap? When will 
he take off his hat? Of what is lifting the 
hat a sign? What does it mean? What does 
a gentleman do when offering a service to a 
lady? What does she do? In what manner 
does a gentleman open a door? beg pardon? 
pass a lady in a hall? pass a group of mourn- 
ers, or a funeral procession? What is in good 
form when saluting? 



Questions for Review. 



91 



10. What is said about introducing a com- 
panion? What must you be sure of ? Whom 
do you present? What must you be careful 
of ? Where must you observe the same? How 
do you present a gentleman? 

11. To whom do you offer your hand? To 
whom not? How is it to be done? of what is 
it a token? 

12. Why is kindness necessary? What 
does it prompt us to do? How do you act 
towards strangers that ask for information? 
When should you offer your assistance? How 
do you ask for information? Whom may you 
ask? What is said of older persons carrying 
parcels? of elderly and infirm persons? 

13. What will polite children always re- 
spect? What is to be observed regarding car 
platforms? of holding the end seat? rushing 
for a seat? of occupying more space than re- 
quired? of entering a crowded car? When 
will a polite boy offer his seat? When do 
girls show a want of manners? 

14. What must you observe regarding 
halls of public entertainment? about talking 
and laughing? When may you leave? 

15. Why is a choice of companions so im- 
portant? Repeat the old proverb. How do 



92 Extracts for Memorizing. 



companions affect our ways? What are the 
effects of having good companions? What, if 
they are bad? 

16. What should you not do when walk- 
ing in the street? What can you say about 
staring at windows? at strangers? What 
about chewing or eating? pointing? laugh- 
ing? carrying your umbrella? quarreling? 
giving a blow or a kick? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. The outward forms the inner man reveal, 
We guess the pulp before we cut the peel. 

— O. W. Holmes. 

2. A beautiful behavior is better than a 
beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure 
than statues and pictures ; it is the finest of 
the fine arts. — Emerson. 

3. A man's manners are a mirror in which 
he shows his likeness to the intelligent ob- 
server. — Goethe. 

4. Good manners are neither more nor 
less than beautiful behavior. — S. Smiles. 

5. Fine manners are a stronger bond than 
a beautiful face. The former binds, the 
latter only attracts. — Lamartine. 



Extracts for Memorizing. 93 

6. Virtue itself offends when coupled with 
a forbidding manner. 

7. True politeness is the spirit of benevo- 
lence showing itself in a refined way. It is 
the expression of good will and kindness. It 
promotes both beauty in the man who pos- 
sesses it, and happiness in those who are 
about him. It is a religious duty, and should 
be a part of religious training. — Beecher. 

8. Wise men read very sharply all of your 
private history in your look and gait and 
behavior. — Emerson. 



94 Good Manners in Conversation. 



CHAPTER VII 
Good Manners in Conversation 

1. Importance. — Conversation is an inter- 
change of ideas between two or more persons 
who happen to meet on various occasions. 
In the course of a conversation we generally 
speak of experiences through which we have 
passed, or we exchange views and opinions 
regarding some object, or we communicate our 
impressions. By so doing we unconsciously 
exhibit the extent of our understanding, dis- 
close our dispositions and our character, and 
even make known our inclinations, our wishes, 
humors, and passions. This being true, we 
may readily understand the importance of 
regulating our conversation by the rules of 
prudence and of good manners. 

2. Object. — Conversation may serve as an 
agreeable pastime and a relaxation, wherein 
the mind, fatigued by labor or by business 
affairs, rests and gathers new strength for 



Good Manners in Conversation. 95 



further exertion. Moreover, it is a means of 
acquiring much useful knowledge and valu^ 
able information, whilst it affords an occasion 
of reviewing and extending the knowledge 
we already possess. Finally, conversation, 
affords us a favorable occasion for meriting 
the good will and the esteem of our neighbor, 
thereby enlarging the circle of our influence 
for doing good. 

3. Effect. — He who understands the secret 
of entertaining will be able to hold the atten- 
tion of his hearers, and will thereby gain 
their sympathy. True, this power is in part 
a gift of nature, and is not given to all in the 
same measure. On the other hand, it is 
partly an art to be acquired, and hence it lies 
in the power of everyone to develop this gift, 
by applying himself diligently to the study of 
language, and of the rules that regulate the 
art of speaking well. We must strive to be- 
come perfect masters of speech, in all places, 
with all persons, and under all circumstances. 

4. Bearing. — In any social gathering, the 
first point to observe is that of a noble, cor- 
rect and dignified bearing. When speaking, 
choose a position that you can see the face of 



96 Good Manners in Conversation. 



the one with whom you are conversing. This 
will enable you to notice the impression that 
your words will make upon him. However, 
do not stand so close that your breath may 
strike his face. 

You must also avoid, when speaking, to 
make awkward gestures with the face, or to 
show your teeth, or to draw the mouth into a 
variety of forms and expressions. 

5. Language. — In company, always speak 
in a language that will be understood by all 
that are present, otherwise a part of the com- 
pany will be obliged to be silent, and it would 
seem as though something were being said 
about them. 

In the choice of words, use plain, simple, 
elegant English, which all persons present 
may understand. Be careful to avoid all low 
and vulgar words and expressions, as well as 
all grammatical errors. 

Study your grammar thoroughly and atten- 
tively, and read the writings of the best 
authors. To do this with profit, always read 
with a pencil and note book at your side, and 
take down every new word. Look for the 
pronunciation and meaning in the dictionary, 



Good Manners in Conversation. 97 



and you will make remarkable progress in a 
very short time . 

Pronounce every word correctly, and listen 
attentively to the pronunciation of those who 
are well educated. Do not copy the silly 
words and phrases of those who wish to ap- 
pear singular. 

Speak with a clear and distinct enunciation, 
and do not smother or swallow your words. 
Be careful to sound the final consonants. Do 
not say comin', goin', singin', for coming, go- 
ing, singing, or an' for and. 

Do not say ketch for catch, or ken for can. 
Say fellow, window, mellow, to-morrow, not 
feller, winder, meller, or to-morrer. 

Remember to give the diphthongal sound 
for eu, wherever it belongs. Do not say doo 
for dew or due; say duty, not dooty. 

Do not drop the sound of "r" where it be- 
longs, as ahm for arm, or wahm for warm. 
On the other hand, avoid giving the sound of 
"r" where it does not belong, as sawr for saw, 
lawr for law. 

Avoid saying yeh or ya-as for yes, or don't 
for does not. Don't is a contraction for do 
not, not for does not. 

7 



98 Good Manners in Conversation. 



Don't say aint for isn't, and never say 'taint. 
Say aren't for are not, isn't for is not ; do 
not use ain't at all. 

Never say "I done it," or "he done it," for 
"I or he did it," or "I seen it" for "I saw it." 
These are gross errors, yet they are often 
made by people who ought to know better. 
A similar error is "If he had went," instead of 
"If he had gone." 

Do not say "It is him," or "It is me;" say 
"It is he," and "It is I." The pronoun must 
be in the nominative case. Thus also, "He is 
older than me," ought to be, "He is older 
than I." 

Be careful in the use of lay and lie. Lay 
expresses action, lie expresses rest. "I will 
lie down," and "I will lay it down." 

A very common error is the use of them 
for those. "Them shoes," "them hats." 

"I am through," or "I am finished," are 
inexcusable errors; say, "I have finished." 

Don't use mad for angry, or learn for teach. 
It is not right to say, "I will learn you," but, 
"I will teach you." 

Use the word got only when necessary. 
In the sentence, "I have got a book," got is 



Good Manners in Conversation. 99 

needless, and is far from being a pleasing 
word. Say, "I have a book." 

Never say "awfully nice," "awfully pretty," 
etc. Use the word awful with a sense of its 
correct meaning. 

When speaking of food, do not use the 
words healthy or unhealthy; say wholesome 
or unwholesome. 

Try to avoid these and similar errors of 
grammar or of pronunciation; on the other 
hand, be careful not to correct another except 
in a polite manner, and in private. 

6. TheVoice. — In conversation, let the 
tone of the voice be agreeable. To this end, 
avoid speaking in a loud, shrill voice. Use a 
natural, that is, a medium tone of voice. If 
your voice is naturally rough and disagree- 
able, tone it down by practice, as you would 
in singing. 

Another extreme, which is equally impolite 
and often annoying, is to speak in such a low 
and easy tone as scarcely to be understood. 

Learn to modulate your voice according to 
circumstances. On a noisy street you must 
speak louder than in a quiet room; whilst, in 
the presence of strangers you will lower the 



100 Good Manners in Conversation. 

tone so as to be understood by those only 
to whom you are speaking. 

7. Qualities. — In order to be polite, and 
therefore in accordance with the requirements 
of good society, our conversation must be: 
1. Appropriate. 2. Respectful. 3. Prudent. 
4. Modest. 5. Charitable. 6. Interesting. 

8. Appropriate.— Our conversation is ap- 
propriate when it is suitable at all times, in 
all places, and in regard to all persons with 
whom we converse. To this effect we must 
observe the rules and correct forms that are 
customary in good society. 

Be particular to give the persons addressed 
their proper titles. Thus, if you should ever 
have occasion to meet the Pope, address him 
as, Your Holiness, or Holy Father. To a car- 
dinal say, Your Eminence; to an archbishop, 
Your Grace, and to a bishop, Your Lordship, 
or Right Reverend Bishop. Address a priest 
as Reverend Father, and a religious, as Rev- 
erend Brother or Reverend Sister. 

You would address the chief executive of 
our country as Mister President; a governor 
as, Your Excellency; a mayor as, Your 



Good Manners in Conversation. 101 

Honor, or Mister Mayor, and a judge as, Your 
Honor. 

When addressing a gentleman who has no 
special title, or whose rank or position is not 
known to you, address him as Mister. To a 
married lady say Madam or Mistress (pro- 
nounced Missis); to an unmarried lady say 
Miss. 

When answering a question, do not merely 
say, "Yes," or "No," but add at least the 
name or title, as, " Yes, Reverend Father," or 
" No, Mrs. Smith." Try to accustom yourself 
'to avoid answering with yes or no, by using 
a part of the question instead. Thus, when 
asked, "Did you go out?" answer, "I did, 
father," or "I did, mother." 

When, having been addressed, you fail to 
understand, the form of inquiry should be, 
"Sir ?" or "Madam ?" or "Please ? " or "I beg 
your pardon," or " Excuse me, what did you 
say, Mr. Jones ?" Either one of these 
phrases, pronounced with the rising inflection, 
is considered good form. 

When speaking of a parent, chidren under 
fourteen years of age may say, " My papa," 
or "My mamma," (with the accent on the last 



102 Good Manners in Conversation. 

syllable). For those who have passed the 
age of fourteen, the proper form to use is 
"My father," or "My mother." 

When speaking of a bishop or other digni- 
tary, always use his full title. Do not say, 
"The bishop," etc., but "The Right Reverend 
Bishop." 

Using pet names or nicknames when speak- 
ing of persons to whom we owe respect, is 
considered rude and unbecoming. 

If, in conversation with a man, you have 
occasion to speak of his wife, do not say 
"Your wife," but rather, "Mrs. N.," or 
"Madam N." In speaking to her, say, "Mr. 
N.," and not " Your husband. " 

You may say to the parent of another, 
"Your son told me so; " however, in a similar 
case, say, "Miss N. ," and not "Your daughter. " 

Be not too short or even snappish when 
offering or asking for anything. There are 
certain polite forms which you must learn to 
use from childhood. Thus, at table, you may 
say, "Allow me to help you to some fruit," or, 
at another occasion, "Permit me to assist 
you," or, "May I have the pleasure of?" or, 
"Will you kindly allow me to ?" etc. 



Good Manners in Conversation. 103 



A request beginning with "Will you 
please ? " or, " May I ask you ? " " Kindly hand 
me," "Will you be so kind ?" etc., and uttered 
in a pleasant voice and with a smile, always 
meets a willing response. And then, a hearty 
"I thank you," or "Thank you very much," 
(never simply "Thanks") makes the one who 
grants the request feel happy for having 
caused you the pleasure. 

The little polite phrases, "Pardon me," or 
"I beg your pardon," or "Please excuse me," 
will smooth away many a frown caused by 
your inattention or thoughtlessness. 

It is an indication of tact and of regard for 
others to know when to say, "Pray, be 
seated," "Do not stand without your hat," 
"Do not rise, I beg of you," "Allow me to 
take your hat," and similar polite phrases 
that are proper on various occasions. 

It is a very poor compliment to the intelli- 
gence of the person with whom we are 
speaking, if we constantly inquire, "Do you 
understand ? " It is likewise offensive to the 
speaker to say, "If what you have said be 
true," for this might lead him to suspect 
that you consider him to be untruthful. 



104 Good Manners in Conversation. 



Above all, a Catholic will be careful to use 
appropriate language when speaking of God, 
of the Saints, or of holy things. Thus, he 
will not speak of "the Mass, Communion, the 
Sacrament of the Altar," but will say, "the 
Holy Mass, Holy Communion, the Most 
Blessed Sacrament of the Altar." He will 
not say, "Mary, or the Virgin, Peter, 
Francis," etc., but "the Blessed Virgin," or 
"the Holy Mother of God, Saint Peter, Saint 
Francis," etc. 

9. Respectful. — A second requirement of 
polite conversation is to be delicate and re- 
spectful in our utterances. Here, again, as 
in so many instances, we see that true 
politeness is a natural outgrowth of piety and 
religion. A true Catholic loves God, and 
keeps His commandments; he professes and 
practices his faith; he excels in respect 
toward the Church and her servants, the 
priests and religious, and in esteem for her 
teachings, dogmas, and means of grace. 
Accordingly, he will not allow himself any 
expression that might injure these feelings 
and sentiments. Banish, therefore, from 
your conversation, all disrespectful remarks 



Good Manners in Conversation. 105 

against the Church, the Pope, or against any 
bishop, priest or religious. 

Never speak lightly or mockingly of the 
Saints, of miracles, devotions, divine services, 
or devout pactices. Avoid abusing the sacred 
texts of Holy Scripture, using them in a 
ludicrous or ridiculous manner. 

It is likewise very unbecoming to exclaim, 
at every occasion, "God!" or "My God!" 
This would, moreover, be a sinful breach of 
the second commandment of God. 

10. Prudent. — Season your conversation 
with the salt of prudence and discretion. It 
is the indication of a noble heart, and of a 
good character, two qualifications that entitle 
their possessor to the esteem and confidence 
of all good men. 

Never reveal a secret that has been en- 
trusted to your safe-keeping. It would be a 
sinful breach of confidence, that would 
merit dishonor. 

In your conversation never speak on any 
subject that would annoy or offend any one of 
the company, or remind him of some fault or 
disagreeable occurence of the past. 



106 Good Manners in Conversation. 

Be prudent and careful when speaking in the 
presence of strangers. You might, unknow- 
ingly, relate something that would perhaps 
refer to some relative or friend of theirs, and 
thus they may become your enemies. 

Never hint that you know something about 
others, which you dare not mention; saying, 
for instance, "I heard something about him 
that would surprise you, but I'll not tell." 
Such hints are offensive to the company, whom 
we do not deem worthy to know what we know. 

Avoid impertinent questions, and never ask 
about things that do not concern you. Do not 
try, by asking repeatedly, to find out things 
that another does not wish to tell. 

It is very rude and unmannerly to try to 
hear what others are saying in a private con- 
versation. If you are in the company of sev- 
eral persons, and it becomes necessary to tell 
something private to one in particular, ask the 
company to be excused for a moment, and then 
Let the communication be as brief as possible. 

Beware of gossiping. It is a most detestable, 
and even a sinful habit. Never make known 
what you have heard or seen in the house of 
another, or in a private circle of friends. Be- 



Good Manners in Conversation 107 



fore mentioning anything of this kind, let your 
charity and good judgment apply the test, 
which is to repeat only such things as would 
in no wise be disagreeable to the persons con- 
cerned, if mentioned in their presence. 

11. Modest. — Modesty is a virtue by which 
we prudently distrust ourselves, and habitu- 
ally give the preference to others, rather than 
take advantage of them. Modesty is, indeed, 
the surest means of gaining the esteem and 
sympathy of our fellow- beings, whilst the lack 
of it is most repulsive. 

If you would acquire this amiable virtue, 
you must, in the first place, avoid speaking 
too much. When in company, be not the one 
who has 6 6 all the say. " It is most unbecoming, 
and marks the "bore" in conversation; hence, 
such persons soon become tiresome talkers, 
and necessarily lose the esteem of their com- 
panions. Remember the words of Holy Scrip- 
ture: "In a multitude of words there shall not 
want sin." (Prov. 10:19.) 

The best rule to guide young people may be 
summed up in these few words: Be silent on 
topics you know nothing about; listen much, 
speak little, and always to the point. 



108 Good Manners in Conversation. 

Avoid pride and vanity in your conversation. 
Be not continually talking about yourself, 
your acquirements, your family, or their for- 
tune, the work that you have accomplished, or 
the plans of your future achievements. Avoid 
the constant use of "I, my and mine." "Keep 
your own affairs to yourself, and avoid med- 
dling with other people's business," is a good 
rule to observe. 

Should you have occasion to mention sev- 
eral persons, including yourself, name them 
in the order of dignity or age, and yourself 
last; thus, "My father, my brother, and I," or, 
"You, he, and!" 

12. Charitable. — Our conversation will not 
be polite unless we have a charitable and 
kindly feeling towards our neighbor. Listen 
to the beautiful teaching of the Divine Word: 
"Out of the fullness of the heart the mouth 
speaketh." Again, the great apostle, Saint 
Paul, says: "If I could speak all the tongues 
of men and angels, but had not charity, it 
would avail me nothing." 

The constant practice of charity, which is 
one of the most necessary requirements of 
polite conversation, is one of the most difficult 



Good Manners in Conversation. 109 



accomplishments. Indeed, it requires much 
virtue, such as humility, self-control, and for- 
titude. On the other hand, it produces the 
most agreeable and most favorable effect. It 
elevates, rejoices, consoles, encourages and 
fortifies the soul, as the morning dew refreshes 
and reanimates the languishing rose, and re- 
touches its paling tints with hues of warmth 
and brightness. 

When any one asks a favor of you, charity 
will induce you to receive him with a kind 
word and a pleasant disposition, so that, even 
though it were not in your power to grant his 
request, he would not have occasion to be dis- 
pleased at a refusal. 

Avoid saying anything disagreeable or of- 
fensive, unless your duty obliges you to do so. 
Never call attention to any personal defect, to 
the looks, the color of the hair, the name or 
nationality, the manner of speaking, etc. On 
these points most people are very touchy, and 
easily take offense. 

In company, never speak of any of those 
present in a manner that would tend to lower 
them in the esteem of others. On the contrary, 
acknowledge their good qualities, their merits, 



110 Good Manners in Conversation. 

or their success, and try to introduce such sub- 
jects of conversation as will give them occa- 
sion to utilize their knowledge or talents with 
good effect. 

Be careful, above all, when speaking of the 
absent, to observe the rule of Saint Augustine : 
"Of the absent, say nothing but what is good. " 
In this connection we are forcibly reminded of 
the words of Saint James: "If any man offend 
not in words, the same is a perfect man." 

Avoid criticising and fault-finding. Some 
disagreeable characters there are, who see 
nothing of the beautiful and the praiseworthy 
in others, or if their attention be called to 
some point of excellence in another, they will 
disdain to give him credit. They will readily 
detect some fault, however trifling it may be, 
an,d will speak about this with visible pleas- 
ure and satisfaction. They do not realize that 
they are betraying their own base disposition 
and disagreeable character. 

Children, above all, must avoid this impolite 
and sinful practice of finding fault with their 
parents, teachers, and other superiors. Rude 
and impolite pupils often delight in making 
fun of remarks, or of rules laid down by their 



Good Manners in Conversation. 111/^ 

teachers. They do not understand that such 
actions show their own stupidity and pride, 
that they offend God thereby, and give bad 
example to their companions. 

A polite pupil will carefully avoid the com- 
pany of those who try to find out the slightest 
faults of others, in order to belittle them in 
the eyes of their teachers, or of their com- 
panions. 

Never allow yourself to joke with your su- 
periors; this would show a want of reverence 
and respect. On the other hand, if any one 
allows himself a joke at your expense, have 
manners and virtue enough at ''east to say 
nothing and look pleasant. 

Those who are always joki ig are generally 
hated. An innocent joke may please some- 
times, but it is fatiguing and tiresome to hear 
one who is constantly trying to be witty. 

Never jest about religion, or anything sa- 
cred, or about any case that is deserving of 
pity. 

To mimic others is coarse and insulting. It 
may give amusement to ignorant and narrow- 
minded people, but it will never be acceptable 
in polite company. 



112 Good Manners in Conversation. 

13. Interesting. — We might often hear it 
said that "Speech is silver, silence is gold;" 
yet it is well to be able to say the right word 
at the right time. The young man who is try- 
ing to rise in the world must learn when to be 
silent, for silence is often very necessary; but 
he must also know when and how to speak, for 
speech is often still more necessary. Exces- 
sive talk on silly subjects is very tiresome, but 
dull silence is equally annoying. 

Conversation is often wearisome and unin- 
teresting for want of a suitable and pleasant 
topic. Among young people this is generally 
the case, either because they do not read at- 
tentively, or do not observe closely, or because 
they do not feel within themselves the desire 
to be agreeable. 

Short anecdotes that one has read, or heard 
others tell, often add much interest and amuse- 
ment to the conversation. They must, how- 
ever, be in harmony with the company, and 
with the nature of the subjects that are being 
spoken of. 

When one of the company has begun to 
speak on a subject that seems to excite a gen- 
eral interest, do not propose another until the 



Good Manners in Conversation. 113 

first is exhausted, or ceases to engage the 
attention. 

If any one joins the company in the course 
of the conversation, it is polite, on the part of 
the one who is speaking, to inform the person, 
in a brief way, of the subject of conversation, 
especially if this person be one to whom he 
owes attention. Should we be the person 
joining the company, it would be very rude to 
say, u What are you talking about ? " It would 
be proper, though, to excuse yourself for the 
interruption, and politely to ask the speaker 
not to be disturbed, but to go right on with his 
subject. 

In the case of a family misfortune or be- 
reavement, do not introduce the subject of 
their loss or sorrow. Let the persons suffer- 
ing the affliction mention it first if they wish 
to speak of it themselves. 

It plainly destroys all interest in a conver- 
sation when, in the company of others, you 
speak to one person only. Let your conver- 
sation be addressed to all present, and let it be 
on such subjects that all may take part in it. 

Do not speak of your own troubles unless 
you have been asked to do so. People that 

8 



114 Good Manners in Conversation. 



are always complaining are very tiresome com- 
pany. Learn to bear your troubles patiently, 
and if, at times, they seem to weigh too heavily 
upon you, speak of them to some trustworthy 
friend; but do not disturb other people's pleas- 
ure by obliging them to listen to your tale of 
woe. 

Do not speak of persons that are unknown 
to some of the company, nor of subjects of 
study that they know nothing about. These 
things will certainly not interest them. 

14. Discussion. — Among foolish and un- 
mannerly children, a difference of opinion gen- 
erally calls forth insulting language, or it may 
end in a quarrel. This ought not to be the 
case among children who are striving to ac- 
quire good manners. They will never be heard 
to say: "That is a lie!" or, the still more rude 
and insulting words, "You are a liar!" Such 
expressions are unpardonable. It is not im- 
polite to say, "Excuse me, or pardon me, but 
I believe you are mistaken." 

Young people should never enter into a dis- 
cussion with their elders or superiors. How- 
ever, should justice or a sense of honor oblige 
them to do so, they must not fail to apologize 



Good Manners in Conversation. 115 



and to be respectful both in their tone of voice 
and in the expressions they use. 

15. Attention. — Politeness requires of us 
to listen attentively to those who are speak- 
ing, and to show that we are interested in their 
conversation. It would be very impolite to 
busy ourselves with other matters, such as 
reading, writing, looking at pictures, etc. 

When one is doing his part in entertaining 
the company, we ought to give him the same 
close attention we would wish to receive if in 
his place. The art of listening well is quite a 
rare accomplishment. 

When any one is speaking to us, no matter 
if what they say is not very important, it 
should be followed without interruption. It 
would be disrespectful, and a sign of bad man- 
ners, to show weariness, by yawning, moving 
to a.nd fro, watching the clock, or pretending 
to go to sleep. 

Do not let your eyes go wandering about, 
but look straight at the person who is speak- 
ing. Nothing is more annoying than to try 
to talk to some one who is evidently not think- 
ing of what we are saying. 

If you are in company and find that you are 



116 Good Manners in Conversation. 

feeling sleepy, excuse yourself and retire, 
rather than give others occasion to think that 
their conversation is not interesting you. 

16. Interruption. — It is extremely rude to 
interrupt any one who is speaking. Young 
people sometimes think that they know things 
better, or that they could improve upon the 
manner of saying this or that. This is the re- 
sult of pride and vanity. Learn to let others 
have their say, and then, if you wish to add 
your own version of the story, introduce it 
with an apology to the former speaker. 

If a story seems too long, do not show your 
impatience by interrupting the speaker for the 
purpose of drawing it to a close. 

There are times when a slight interruption 
is not out of place; for instance, when giving 
our approval of some remark or assertion made 
by the speaker. We may also, without appear- 
ing impolite, ask a question regarding some 
interesting point that we have failed to under- 
stand, saying, "Pardon the interruption, but I 
did not quite understand the last remark," etc. 

17. Complimenting. — The language of com- 
pliment must not be that of low flattery. Al- 
ways pay a compliment at the proper time to 



Questions for Review. 117 



the proper person. Many find it easy to blame 
others at the slightest occasion, but they do 
not seem to think what pleasure a word of de- 
served praise might afford. 

18. General Remarks. — If any one begins 
to speak at the same time with you, always 
give the other person the privilege of speak- 
ing first. You may say, "Excuse me, please 
speak on." 

You must not interrupt with any questions 
one who is reading or writing, and never look 
over the shoulder of one so engaged. 

Do not try to attract attention by loud talk- 
ing or laughing. It is proper to be bright 
and lively, and even witty, if possible, but it is 
not good taste to try to win notice by these 
means. It is not a noble ambition to wish to 
be a clown. 

Loud talking and laughing in cars, and in 
all public places, show a want of education and 
of good manners. 

Questions for Review 

1. What do we generally speak of ? By 
what rules should we regulate our conversa- 
tion? 



118 Questions for Review. 



2. What purpose may it serve ? What may 
we acquire in conversation ? What may we 
review and extend ? What may we merit ? 

3. How can every one develop the art of 
speaking well ? What must we strive to be- 
come? 

4. What is the first point to observe in any 
social gathering ? What position should we 
choose when speaking? What must we 
avoid? 

5. In what language should we speak ? 
What kind of words should you choose? What 
must you avoid ? What should you study and 
read ? What should you have when reading ? 
What should you look for? How should you 
pronounce ? What should you not copy ? 

What is said of enunciation ? of final con- 
sonants ? of the sound of eu ? of r ? Which 
contractions must you avoid ? Which com- 
mon errors must be avoided ? 

What is said of him and me? of lie and lay? 
of them and those ? of am used for have ? of 
learn and teach? of got? of awful and awfully? 
of healthful and wholesome? How may you 
correct others ? 

6. How should the tone of voice be? What 



Questions for Review. 



119 



is said of a harsh tone ? a low and easy tone ? 
a tone in presence of strangers ? 

7. Which are the qualities of polite con- 
versation ? 

8. When is our conversation appropriate ? 
With what title do you address the Pope ? a 
cardinal? an archbishop ? a bishop? a priest? 
a religious ? the chief executive of the United 
States ? a mayor ? a judge ? a gentleman ? a 
married lady ? an unmarried lady ? 

How do you answer a question ? What must 
you try to accustom yourself to ? Which is the 
proper form of inquiry ? What is said of papa 
and father ? of pet names and nicknames ? of 
wife and husband ? of son and daughter ? 

Mention some polite phrases. Which ex- 
pressions must you avoid ? When will a Cath- 
olic be especially careful to use appropriate 
language ? 

9. In what does a true Catholic excel ? 
What must you banish from your conversa- 
tion ? Of what must you never speak mock- 
ingly ? What must you avoid ? 

10. What is said of a secret ? On which 
subjects must you not speak? How must we 



120 Questions for review. 



speak in the presence of strangers ? For what 
reasons ? 

What is said about hints ? about impertinent 
questions? about private conversations? about 
gossiping ? 

11. What is modesty ? What is said about 
speaking too much ? Which is the best rule for 
young people? What shows pride and vanity? 

12. What can you say about charity? How 
should you receive any one who asks a favor? 

What should you avoid saying ? To what 
should you never call attention? How should 
you speak of the absent? of the departed? 

What must children avoid in regard to fault- 
finding? Whose company will a polite pupil 
avoid? What can you say about joking? About 
what should you never joke? 

13. What is said about short anecdotes? 
about proposing another subject? about any 
one joining the company? To what must you 
never allude? What results from speaking to 
one person only? To whom should the con- 
versation be addressed? What is said about 
troubles? about complaining? Which persons 
and subjects should you not speak about ? 

14. What expressions ought never to be 



Extracts for Memorizing. 121 

used? With whom should young persons not 
enter into a discussion? How should they act 
when obliged to do so ? 

15. What can you say about attention? 
What would be very impolite? What would 
be disrespectful? 

16. What do young people sometimes think? 
When may an interruption not be out of place? 

17. When should yon pay a compliment? 
How do many act in this regard? 

18. Who should have the privilege of speak- 
ing first? Whom must you not interrupt? 
What is said of loud talking and laughing? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. The great charm of conversation con- 
sists less in the display of one's wit and intel- 
ligence than in the power to draw forth the 
resources of others. — La Bruyere. 

2. Let another man praise thee, and not 
thine own lips. — Solomon. 

3. A man who endeavors to conceal his own 
merit, who sets that of other people in its true 
Light, who speaks little of himself, and with 
modesty, makes a favorable impression upon 



122 Extracts for Memorizing. 



those whom he meets, and acquires their love 
and esteem. — Lord Chesterfield. 

4. It is almost the definition of a gentleman 
to say that he is one who never inflicts pain. — 
Cardinal Newman. 

5. A wise man thinks before he speaks; 
but a fool speaks and then thinks of what he 
has been saying. — French Proverb. 

6. Kind words are the music of the world. 
— Father Faber. 



Good Manners in Recreation. 



123 



CHAPTER VIII. 
Good Manners in Recreation 

1. Necessity. — A friendly game, an inno- 
cent amusement, — these are a welcome recrea- 
tion for the body and an agreeable relaxation 
for the mind. After the day's hard work, 
whether it be physical labor or earnest appli- 
cation to study, we feel the need of rest. But 
here we must guard against the false idea of 
substituting idleness for i est. The poet Cow- 
per has truly said: 

"Absence of occupation is not rest; 
A mind quite vacant is a mind distressed. v 

The proper rest for mind and body is a 
change from a serious and tiresome occupation 
to one that is less fatiguing and at the same 
time pleasant and agreeable. Such a rest we 
find in games and amusements. 

2. Benefit. — Above all, we must be careful 
to sanctify our games and recreations and 



124 Good Manners in Kecreation. 



make them a means of promoting the honor 
and glory of God and of gaining merits for 
heaven. How can this be done ? By comply- 
ing with the regulations of the school, and by 
obeying our parents and teachers in regard to 
the manner, time and place of our amusements. 
We shall thus be acting in accordance with the 
holy will of God, and our recreations will ben- 
efit us both in body and soul. 

3. Games, — In every game there are rules 
that are generally accepted, and true polite- 
ness requires us to follow them exactly. 

Always play an honest game, and banish all 
cheating from your amusements, as well as you 
would from your business. A dishonest player 
betrays his inner tendencies, and proves that 
he would be just as dishonest in other matters, 
should the opportunity present itself. 

4. Temper. — Never get into a passion or 
allow your temper to appear in the course of a 
game. To avoid this, you must try to master 
your feelings by silence, or an attempt to sub- 
due the first impulse of anger 

Never call another insulting names if you 
have cause to consider him dishonest. In such 
a case, say nothing, but play out the game and 



Good Manners in Recreation. 125 



then bring it to a close, without giving any ex- 
planation that would bring shame or displeas- 
ure upon the offending player. 

If you should happen to be losing, take your 
defeat cheerfully, or at least do not show any 
hard feelings. Neither is it polite to shout or 
to be over- joyous when you are winning the 
game. 

It would be the sign of a small and greedy 
mind to bring the game to a close as soon as 
you are the winner. 

Unless you are learning the game, you must 
never ask the advice of others that might be 
looking on. 

5. Be Obliging.— When in company you are 
asked to take part in a friendly game, it is 
polite to do so, even though you do not care to 
play. 

Do not insist upon playing the game that 
you prefer, after the company have agreed to 
play another. True politeness often requires 
of us to renounce our own will in order to give 
pleasure to others. 

6. Looking On. — Should the company be en- 
gaged in a game in which you are not taking 
part, it is polite to be neutral and silent. Do 



126 Good Manners in Recreation. 



not take the part of any one of the players, 
nor try to assist them by your advice, unless 
asked to do so. 

It is rude to find fault with one who makes 
a bad move or a misplay, or to annoy the 
players by frequent remarks as to which of 
them will probably win or lose. 

7. Base Ball, — When boys are about to 
play a game of base ball, it is proper to select 
a captain, and then willingly to take what- 
ever position he may wish them to play. It 
is very silly and unmannerly on the part of 
those boys who quarrel or refuse to continue 
the game because their side is losing, or 
because the umpire happens to make a 
mistake, 

8, Social Entertainments. — Another form 
of recreation is what we might call a parlor 
entertainment. Young persons are often 
asked to sing or to play a piece on a musical 
instrument for the amusement of the family 
or of visitors. In such a case it is polite to 
do so promptly, without waiting to be urged. 
Some foolish children expect a great deal of 
coaxing and have various excuses to make 
before complying with a polite request. 



Questions for Review. 



127 



When any performance of this kind is 
going on, polite children will be silent. They 
will suspend any game or conversation, and 
listen attentively to the entertainment. It 
would be very rude to laugh aloud, or to 
interrupt the performer in any way. 

Children must not offer to entertain the 
company, but must wait until they are invited 
to do so. 

9. Stories. — Telling stories is often a very 
agreeable pastime. In this regard you must 
not be selfish, but give each one a turn, and 
tell only such stories as you would not hesi- 
tate to tell in the presence of your parents or 
teachers. Thus you will not offend God, 
nor risk to give scandal to others. 

Questions for Review 

1. What is the proper rest for mind and 
body? 

2. How can we sanctify our games and 
recreations ? 

3. What is said regarding the rules of a 
game ? cheating ? a dishonest player ? 

4. How can you avoid losing your temper ? 
How should you act when a player is dishon- 



128 Extracts for Memorizing. 



est ? when you are losing ? when winning ? 
What is said about asking advice ? 

5. When should you take part in a game ? 
What does true politensss often require of 
us ? 

6. How should you act when looking on at 
a game? What would be rude in such a 
case ? 

7. What is said about base ball ? 

8. How should young persons act when 
asked to play or sing ? how, during such a 
performance ? what must they avoid ? 

9. What kind of stories may you tell ? 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Recreation must be a relaxation, but 
not a dissipation of the mind. — St Alphonsus. 

2. We are to be the masters of amusement, 
and not its slaves. — D. Martin. 

3. Simple pleasures are the sunlight of 
life ; and the little plants struggle to the sun- 
shine and find light for themselves, darken 
their dwelling-place as you will. — M. F. Egan. 

4. The richest pleasures are those that 
center . in spiritual and intellectual pursuits, 



Extracts for Memorizing. 129 



and as the higher nature attains more, the 
senses demand less. 

5. Few are qualified to shine in company ; 
but it is in most men's power to be agreeable. 
— Swift. 

6. "Nothing avails us under the sun, 

In work or in play, save that which is done 
For the honor and glory of God alone." 



130 Good Manners in Business. 



CHAPTER IX 
Good Manners in Business 

1. Start Well. — The most critical period 
in the business life of boys or girls is the 
time when they graduate from school and 
begin to look for a position. If they start 
well, they will usually succeed, while, if they 
start poorly, their ambitions may receive a 
serious blow, from which it will be difficult to 
recover. 

2. Securing a Position. — Several points 
are of primary importance in securing a po- 
sition, and among them politeness holds the 
first place. 

Above all, be polite when you enter an 
office. 

Be neat and tidy in your personal appear- 
ance. This point alone often secures the 
position. 

When asked as to your qualifications, do 
not speak timidly or doubtfully, but in a tone 



Good Manners in Business. 131 



of confidence. However, do not boast of your 
ability nor claim to have knowledge of things 
that you do not understand. 

Ask pleasantly for a trial, that you may 
prove your worth. 

If requested to call at a certain hour, be 
there a little before the appointed time. 

If answering an advertisement in person, 
be there early. If you write an answer, let 
your note be neat and well written, your 
spelling correct, and your composition fault- 
less. 

Do not forget that the first impressions that 
your employer forms of you and your work 
usually determine whether you are to remain 
in his employ or not; therefore, be pleasant, 
work hard, and avoid all the errors possible. 

3. Success. — If you would possess the key 
to success, as far as a business life is con- 
cerned, make yourself a necessity. No mat- 
ter what business you start in, aim to learn as 
much as possible about it. Be not satisfied to 
equal the other clerks, but strive to surpass 
them. The moment you excel, your services 
will be in demand. Stephen Gerard was once 
reproached with having been a drummer boy. 



132 Good Manners tn Business. 



He replied: "Yes. but didn't I drum wellr 
Didn't I beat them all drumming?" His motto 
was, "What is worth doing at all, is worth 
doing well." The result was that he became 
the best banker in Philadelphia. 

4. Honesty. — " Honesty is the best policy," 
we are told when we are little children, but 
how many, as they grow older, forget it and 
think that they can gain a great deal by one 
dishonest act. If they are not found out in a 
week, or perhaps in a year, the day will come 
when they will have to give an account, and 
then they will say, when it is too late: "Why 
was I dishonest?" 

We, who some day wish to hold a high and 
honorable position, and, moreover, we who 
must one day give a strict account to God for 
the slightest dishonesty, must always keep in 
mind this little proverb, and act accordingly. 

Many an employer will test your honesty by 
leaving a penny or a nickel lie about as if by 
accident. If he finds you honest in little 
things, be sure that he will trust you in mat- 
ters of greater importance. 

5. Patience and Perseverance. — Without 
these qualities, a boy or a girl seldom, if ever, 



Good Manners in Business, 



133 



has permanent success. A willingness to 
work and a disposition to continue at work, 
no matter how monotonous the work may be, 
always means success, These qualities indi- 
cate self-possession and self -discipline, and any 
business man will pay well for such accom- 
plishments. 

6. Keep Steady. — Remember the old say- 
ing, "A rolling stone gathers no moss," and 
do not shift about. When you get a position, 
hold on to it. Unless you are sure that you 
can improve your condition by stepping into 
another place, resist all temptation to change. 
The new place is often not what you expected, 
and not as desirable in many ways as the old 
one. 

7. Be Silent. — Most young people talk too 
much, especially in reference to what they 
intend to do. Those who are always planning 
to do great things, seldom have much to 
show. 

Remember that the secrets of the business 
are yours, and should never be made known 
to others. 

Be cautious in your statements about busi- 
ness matters. Information is often worth 



134 Good Manners in Business. 



more than goods on the shelves, or money in 
the drawer. 

When your feelings are hurt, be silent until 
you recover from your excitement. Wait 
until you can speak calmly, and then maybe 
you will not need to speak at all. 

When you have little w T orries and vex- 
ations, do not complain or grumble — be silent. 
Some day you may come to know what real 
trouble is. 

8. Be Businesslike.— Whenever you trans- 
act business, do it in a methodical and busi- 
nesslike manner. If you pay a bill, take a 
proper receipt therefor, and keep your 
receipts, letters, and all other documents, 
filing them in a systematic manner. You 
should always be able to turn to any paper 
at a moment's notice. 

Do nothing in a careless manner, and leave 
nothing undone that should be done. 

Attend strictly to business during working 
hours, and spend no time with idlers. 

If you are sent on an errand, go at once, 
and never show displeasure; then, return 
without delay. 

As long as you are in the employ of others, 



Good Manners in Business. 135 

work exactly as though you were the pro- 
prietor; make the interest of the House your 
interest, and your service will be earnestly 
sought for. 

9. Be Obedient. — St. Paul tells all ser- 
vants to obey their masters; not only those 
who are good and gentle, but likewise those 
who are severe, beaause "all authority comes 
from God." 

If you offer to work for an employer, he 
becomes your superior by the fact that he 
accepts your services, and you are then in 
conscience bound to obey him, as well as 
those who represent him, in all that concerns 
your duty as employee. 

Should a fellow-clerk presume to give you 
orders, be not so rude as to say: "You 
are not my boss ! " Rather say: "Excuse 
me, but I must first ask the foreman or head- 
clerk about this matter." 

If someone asks a favor that will not inter- 
fere with your duty show yourself obliging 
and do it cheerfully; for, "one good turn 
deserves another." 

10. Associates. — "A man is known by the 
company he keeps," is an adage as true as it 



136 Good Manners in Business. 



is old. By associates are meant those of 
your companions whom you prefer to others. 
These have the greatest influence upon your 
character, and therefore upon your success in 
life. Young people are unconsciously moulded 
by their associates, to their lasting benefit or 
injury. Low, dishonest/disrespectful compan- 
ions are debasing, and should be shunned by 
those who respect themselves. If, therefore, 
you wish to be respected, be careful with 
whom you associate, especially outside of 
business hours. 

11. Character. — Cultivate a firm charac- 
ter, and learn to say "No" pleasantly and 
firmly when occasion requires it. Think 
independently and for yourself, and act 
according to your conscience, regardless of 
what others may think or say. This indepen- 
dence of thought and action is one of the 
highest attributes a person can possess ; with- 
out it his manhood is defective. 

12. Education. — What the art and skill of 
the cutter and polisher is to the rough 
diamond, education is to the human mind, 
giving to it its power, brilliancy and worth. 
The young men or the young women who 



Good Manners in Business. 137 



would be successful in the world of to-day 
must equip themselves, by hard study and 
close observation, to win in the contest, and 
to overcome the many difficulties that they 
will find strewn along their pathway. While 
the indolent, careless and indifferent student 
is constantly being pushed to the rear, the 
young person of energy, ambition, persever- 
ance and industry, will rapidly advance until 
he reaches the front rank in his chosen call- 
ing or profession. 

13. Advice. — A good rule to insure success 
is to learn by the experience of others, and to 
profit by good advice. A very successful 
business man writes: " During my career I 
have lived up to four rules, as follows: 

"First — Never pretend to know more than 
your employer. 

" Second — Be polite and courteous in all 
business matters. 

"Third— Be punctual in attendance, and 
truthful in all things. 

" Fourth— Answer each and every question 
put to you by your employer with ' Yes, sir,' 
or i No, sir,' and above all things, never try to 
explain or smooth over your mistakes. 



138 



Questions for Review. 



u It is upon the above rules, along with the 
training I received at school, that I lay the 
foundation of my success. The balance was 
achieved by good, hard work." 

Questions for Review 

1. Why is it important to start well? 

2. What is said about entering an office? 
about personal appearance? How should you 
speak? When should you call? How should 
your written answer be? What can you say 
about first impressions? 

2. What is the key to success? How can 
you make yourself a necessity? What is the 
story of Stephen Gerard? 

4. What can you say of honesty? Why 
must we be honest? Will employers test your 
honesty? 

5. Mention two necessary qualities. What 
do they indicate? 

6. What can you say about changing your 
position? 

7. What is said about talking too much? 
about the secrets of the business? about in- 
formation? about feelings that are hur+? 
about little worries and vexations? 



Extracts for Memorizing. 139 



8. What must you observe regarding a bill 
to be paid? about receipts, letters, etc. ? about 
leaving things undone? What is said about 
idlers? about going on an errand? How can 
you cause your services to be sought for? 

9. Whom should we obey, and why? Must 
you obey a fellow-clerk? 

10. What is meant by associates? What 
influence have they? What class of compan- 
ions should be shunned? 

11. What is said of a firm character? How 
should you think and act? 

12. What does education give to the human 
mind? What is necessary to be successful? 
What is said of a careless student? an ambi- 
tious and persevering student? 

13. What is said of experience and advice? 
Give the four rules mentioned. 

Extracts for Memorizing 

1. Systematic, conscientious and hard work 
is one of the foremost conditions of success in 
any pursuit of life. 

2. He who conscientiously does his own 
work, however poor his efforts may be, will 
continue to gain strength, and may hope to 



140 Extracts for Memorizing, 



become a real success in life; but he whc 
depends upon his neighbor, possesses a weak 
character, and cannot expect to reach perma 
nent success. 

3. It is a greater thing to maintain a brave 
and self-respecting silence than to defend 
one's self to no purpose. — Boscoe. 

4. The world generally gives its admira- 
tion, not to the man who does what nobody 
else ever attempts to do, but to the man who 
does best what multitudes do well. — Macaulay. 

5. The true dignity of life is not found in 
escaping difficulties, but in mastering them. 
— Dean Stanley. 

6. The great thing in life is to have a great 
aim, and perseverance to attain it. — Goethe 



